What the Heart Wants
by MomofPhoenix
Summary: Stephanie is heartbroken, and she tries to keep the reasons to herself. Sinking into a depression she discovers that she really does have what her heart wants. TART Story is mostly written will post weekly as I work on my other ones.
1. Chapter 1

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

What the Heart Wants

She watched him from a distance, her heart pounding in her chest. She had a hard time watching him dance with another woman. It should be her, she held out for someday with him. Now it looks like that will never happen.

She was here for Lester's wedding, without a date. The irony was that Ranger brought one with him. She and Joe had split up nearly twenty months ago.

When she told him that Joe and her were over, he informed her that they would work it out. After all, they always did. She knew they wouldn't, he had been caught with his pants around his ankles with a stark street girl.

Ranger obviously didn't want to be with her. She still couldn't get her heart to listen. She refused to give up and move on. Tank looked over at her with pity in his eyes.

"Little Girl, I know I'm not the bossman, but how about a dance?"

"Sure, Tank. Why not, I deserve to enjoy myself too."

He held out his hand and helped her from her seat and they made their way to the dance floor. The song Say Something was beginning to play. They swayed gently to the sad song and the only thing that was running through her mind was how many millions of times she wished he said what she prayed for almost daily.

Tank cleared his throat and looked down at the woman he considered the light in his dark world. When she looked up with tears in her eyes, he began to speak, "He loves you, you know that right?"

"No, Tank. It's been nearly two years since Morelli and I split, and Ranger has been dating Holly for almost ten months now. I'm not delusional. He met his match. It's time for me to give up on someday," she stated with a sad shake of her head.

"How did you find out about Holly?"

She looked over at the man in question. As a tear slipped down her cheek, she replied. "He called me the night that he met her, to tell me about how he found the one."

 _flashback_

She had been sitting on her couch knitting, it was something she actually did once in awhile. This project had a very specific reason in mind. She was still trying to figure out how to relay certain information to the involved parties.

 _"Steph?"_

 _"Yeah, Ranger? What can I do for you?" She asked, slightly surprised that he didn't call her Babe. That was odd._

 _"I think I met the woman I'm supposed to spend my life with."_

 _She began to smile, thinking that he was finally going to tell her that it was time for someday. She should have known better, nothing is ever what it seems for her._

 _"Really? Tell me about her," she encouraged . Her heart began to race and her mind ran in 100 different directions. The excitement was building. Then like the proverbial balloon, he popped it._

 _"Her name is Holly, we met on a blind date tonight."_

 _Her world fell away in that moment, as she encouraged him to talk. He had been her best friend and the man she had been in love with for years. If this was what made him happy than she would make sure to support him._

 _She felt her heart shatter as he began to tell her about Holly. It seemed that Holly was everything she wasn't. Meak and kind. A gentle soul in a tiny perfectly wrapped package. A woman who didn't drive a POS or have things blow up around her. She was an administrative assistant in a corporate office. Another diminutive passive woman who she had been passed over for. She was, for lack of a better word, perfect._

 _Her hand gripped her stomach in an effort to keep the bile from rising as she listened to him extol her virtues._

 _As they ended the call she ran to the bathroom and lost the entire contents of her stomach before dry heaving for the rest of the night. Things only got worse from there..._

 _end flashback_

"I'm sorry, Steph." Tank whispered.

"For what? The heart wants only what the heart wants. You have nothing to be sorry for. Listen, tell everyone that I said goodnight. I'm going to head home. It's late and I have a busy day tomorrow."

She stood up on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek, leaving him alone on the dance floor. She gathered her things and walked out into the cool night air. The hurt and tears making there way through when she was about half way to her car.

She hit her knees in the middle of the hotel parking garage. The pain and anguish of what might have been coursing through her veins. Her chest felt like it was on fire, and that she would never be able to breathe again. It wasn't fair. She loved him for so long. She thought that he loved her, but she's discovered how wrong she was. That was then and they had taken different roads.

She slowly stood back up and got into her car. Instead of heading home, she drove to Wildwood. She knew that no one would look for her there tonight. If anyone was actually trying to find her or realized she was missing they would check Point Pleasant first.

She knew what she needed to do. The phone call she had to make, severing her connection with Ranger for good. She decided to call his private line on seven. He barely stayed there any longer, opting to stay at his private home where Holly now lived with him. At the earliest, he would get the message Monday. At the latest, never.

As the expected voice mail box picked up, she choked back a sob and waited for the tone.

 _"Ranger, I can't do this anymore. Please, don't call me. If you see me walk the other way. I need to make a complete break. I can't keep letting my heart get broken. Ten months I've watched you fall in love from a distance. I'm happy for you. Now, I need to find a way to be happy without you in my life. Someday doesn't exist for me anymore. The only thing I ask is that if you ever think of me, remember I was always happiest when I was near you. Have a happy life. I hope that one day I'll be able to do the same. Goodbye, my almost lover. I love you."_

She hit the end button on the screen of her phone. She sat on the beach watch the moon roll over the dark waves. Thankfully she had the fore sight to remove all of her trackers, because at that moment a worried friend was looking for her.

 _Three days later..._

She finally went home Tuesday evening. She wasn't surprised to find that she had no messages. No one really bothered her unless they wanted something. It wouldn't be hard to leave, it would be a long time before anyone even noticed she was gone. Unfortunately, even though she she cut Ranger off, she couldn't leave the same town. She needed to make sure that he was happy. That was her goal from now on, she would make it her life long career to make sure he stayed that way. No matter what it took. If he wants her to move away from Trenton, anything she has to give him. She will, even her life.

One of the first things she did when she got home, was to box up Rangers things. The clothes, the shaving kit, his key fob, and the gifts that he had given her. She taped up the box; then sat down and wrote him a letter.

 _Dear Ranger,_

 _I wanted to make sure and send everything you've left here over the years. As well as the gifts that you gave me over that same time frame. As I stated in my phone message I left, I am making a clean break._

 _If you ever need something important, you may contact me. Otherwise, unless it's concerns yours or your families health or safety, please forget that I exist._

 _I waited for someday to come, and in the end you found your someday. It just isn't with me. I tried to believe you. I wanted someday to be real. I wanted to believe that I was more than a good time. I wanted to believe that I really was home to you. I wanted so many things._

 _I've come to learn a harsh lesson. I've learned that I was molested as a small child. I was raped as a teenager. I was emotionally abused all of my life. As an adult I was still naive enough to still believe that someone would ever love me, or want me as I am._

 _I want to thank you for helping to remove doubt from it all. It seems that I'm one of those people that will simply just be. Don't live the life that is my fate, live the life that I dreamed of. Fly for those of us whose wings have been clipped. I'm not sure what I did in a past life, but it must have been horrible._

 _I didn't mean for this to be so long or morose. Take care, Ranger, be happy._

 _Always,_

 _Stephanie Plum_

She sealed the letter in an envelope and called Cal at Rangeman to come pick it up. He was there in twenty minutes. When he asked if she needed anything she told him just to make sure that Ranger got the box and letter.

"Steph, what's going on? You look like you've lost your best friend."

"That's because I did and the man I love all in one fell swoop. I'll be okay eventually. Just don't expect to see me at Rangeman any longer. Tell the guys that you are welcome to call or stop by anytime, but I understand if none of you do. I'm pulling myself out of Rangers life and he may not want you all to be part of mine. Just don't forget that I am real, that I am a person."

"Steph, just give it some time. He'll realize what's right in front of him."

"That's the problem, I have been right in front of him all along. He doesn't love me in the way that I love him. I should have listened to him better and not believed in his promises of someday."

"Are you sure that you want to let go? He really does love you."

"I have no choice. The only thing I want is for him to be happy and that's obviously not with me. His happiness is all that matters to me anymore. When you love someone that's all you really want."

He pulled her into a hug. She clung to him, afraid she would break if he let go. She didn't want to be broken any more. He left not long after. She needed to fix her karma.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

I thought that since I had so many wonderful reviews I would post this update today. I will continue to update on Wednesdays. Also, Stephanie has a long road ahead of her. While she will have her own HEA there is a lot of hurt to get through first.

What the Heart Wants

The next few weeks Steph found herself increasingly alone, just like she knew would happen. She fills her time with classes, going to the gym and working at Katherman law offices as a secretary. She was able to keep her head down and become invisible. She had quit Vinnie's, because she had run into Ranger one too many times there and the alley had too many painful memories. He seemed to make it a point to ignore that she even existed. It was like a knife twisting into her heart each time he swept right past her.

She was tired of dealing with the daily questions from the girls in the office as well. They were ruthlessly hounding her and when she didn't the give them anything, they started rumors of their own. She was done dealing with their crap. Vinnie often looked at her sadly. She wasn't sure if it was out of pity for her own stupidity, or if he was genuinely concerned for her. Hell, he was family, so he probably thought that she was an embarrassment.

Soon she found out about Ranger and Hollys engagement. You wouldn't believe the number of phone calls she got about that. Mainly it was just people wanting to rub salt in an open wound. Everyone seemed to delight in her heartache. Each person that told her had so much glee in their voices. It was as if they took pride in all the bad shit that happened in her life.

She stopped at the grocery store on the way home. She had begun to teach herself to cook, since she was no longer welcome in her childhood home. She ran into Lester and his wife there. She stiffened up when they attempted to hug her. The last time she had spoken to anyone from Rangeman was when Cal came over to pick up the items she sent back to Ranger.

"Beautiful? God, I've missed you. Where have you been? Why haven't you called or come to see us?" He asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He looked like a child who had a triple shot of extra caffeinated espresso and a ten pound bag of candy as a chaser. He was practically vibrating.

It took everything in her not to cry as she answered him. "I couldn't watch them anymore. I need to move forward and let my heart heal. It hurt when I realized that someday will never be in my future."

"We all miss you," he said softly. He had been caught off guard by the wave of sadness that rolled off her.

"Phones work two ways, Les. Just do me a favor he makes sure he's always happy. Tell him to never give up on the love of his life, because it hurts like hell."

"Steph, what do you mean? What happened? Did you and Morelli split up again?"

Anger flashed in her eyes at his question. She gritted her teeth and answered. "Les, Morelli and I broke up two years ago. Then Ranger, the man who has held my heart since he called me Babe, met the woman he's supposed to spend his life with. All the promises of someday and how I was home to him were nothing more then lines. I get it, I do. I've never had a good relationship with any man, so I'm just not going to ever again. Besides that, the only man I have ever really loved, doesn't love me. So, I would rather be alone then let my heart open back up to someone. Listen, it was good seeing you both again, but I have to get home to study."

She didn't know that he had a call open on his phone while they were talking, but the person who had been listening was pissed. The light was gone from the company and it was one man's fault alone. He had been the only person to dance with her at Lester's wedding. He had noticed her slipping away from them bit by bit, and felt guilty for not trying to stop it.

Steph made it home, before she lost it again. Having such a big heart made it hard to let go, and times like tonight made it feel like someone had torn the scab off a fresh wound. She gathered some fruit for diner, it had to be a light meal, her stomach was to upset. She had lost so much weight over the last year that her clothing was swimming on her. Except for her work clothes. She had purchased a few fitted suits to wear and just mix and matched the items. She really didn't go anywhere, so there was no point in replacing her entire wardrobe.

As she got ready for bed there was a knock at her door. She had no idea who it could be, since no one called or stopped to see her any longer. She checked the peep hole and was surprised even more. She quickly opened the door and looked at him curiously.

"Tank? What are you doing here?" She inquired, the surprise in her voice evident.

"I haven't been a very good friend to you, and wanted to stop in and see you. Can I come in?" He was strong and confident in his request. Like he was in every aspect of his life.

"I guess. Can I get you something to drink?" She moved to the side and allowed him into her apartment. She wasn't up for a fight and it was just easier to listen to whatever he had to say. Then she could give him the envelope she had gathered for him and send him on his merry way.

"Water would be good," he gently replied. It took a bit of the sting out of him leaving her alone for the past few months.

She came back from the kitchen to find him sitting on her couch. Handing him the water she sat next to him.

"Want to tell me why you're really here?"

"I'm going to be honest with you. I was actually on the phone when you were talking to Santos today."

"Of course you were," she said sarcastically. "My life it open to the entire population of Trenton at all times anyway. Why would I even consider that you guys may be different. Tell me, what do you need?"

"We all need you back at Rangeman. Ranger has been an ass since you stopped coming around or calling, and our world has gotten darker. We miss you," Tank nearly pleaded.

"Not gonna happen Big Guy. You guys can always call or stop over. I just can not step foot in that building again. It hurts even going past it on my way to and from work everyday. I'm not strong enough to watch the man I love and waited for to be ready for someday, be so in love with another woman. I don't care how great she is.

"You know the only reason I was with Joe was because he kept telling me to go back to him? Anything he asked of me I did. Hell, even now if he needed something I would be there for him. I just can't let my heartbreak over and over again.

"I finally figured out that I'm meant to be alone. No one bothers with me unless they need something. All I really need is a friend, but turns out that I never really had any of those either." She crossed her arms over her stomach and leaned back against her counter.

"Why do you say that?"

"Let's see, as a child I was molested, as a teen I was raped, my husband cheated on me, Joe cheated on me, my own family has nothing to do with me. People I thought were my friends aren't really my friends. Is that enough or do I need to go on? No one from Rangeman has made even the slightest effort to have anything to do with me until now. You see Tank, unless I behave a certain way or make the first step in anything, no one wants me for who I am. They want the Burg girl, a stay at home wife and mother, someone they can use to their benefit. They want a fuck buddy, a single night, or just to be able to say they got the better of me. Tank, friendship is a two way street, but when I stopped doing what people wanted, I was left on a dead end street with no where to turn."

"You could have called one of us."

She couldn't hold back the snort. Then she asked, "At what cost though? Hearing about Rangers new happy life? Just to be told that they are too busy for even a cup of coffee? I grew up, Tank. I learned a very harsh lesson and know that whatever I did to deserve these things had to of been bad. I'm slowly accepting that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. No friends, no family, and no one who will ever love me for me. Go listen to my voicemail, listen to the messages there. It's every message that I've gotten over the last six months."

He got up and went over to her land-line. Listening to the nasty words and the glee people took in inflicting pain on the broken woman that was now sitting on the couch. the stared in horror at the hurtful words that the people who proclaimed to love her hurled through the machine. There was twenty of them in total. Twenty calls in six months and fifteen of them were about Rangers engagement. He sank down next to her and pulled her into his chest. He had no words for what he had just heard. When that was combined with Rangeman pulling away away from her, it's amazing that she was still here.

"I love him, Tank. I don't know if I'll ever get over that. As long as he's happy, I'll be okay. That's all I want for any of you. If that means I spend the rest of my life in isolation, then so be it. I won't be pitied, I won't be somewhere that I not welcome, and I certainly won't force myself into anyone's life. I just can't fight anymore, there's nothing left to even fight for. Please, just let it go. I've accepted my fate in life. Promise me two things, that he's always happy and that you'll open your heart to the information I have for you."

She handed him a large yellow envelope that was rather thick and heavy. He opened it and was surprised to find what info it held.

"Charlotte..." he whispered. He looked up at her in awe.

"That's all the information I have on her for you. She doesn't live to far from here. Her phone number and address are both in there. Just...just go talk to her."

"How did yo...Why do this for me?"

"Because, despite my crappy life, I want those that I love to be happy. Even if that means removing myself from their lives and finding the one thing that they've been looking for. Think of me as everyone's fairy godmother. The only catch, you can't tell anyone it's me."

"What about Ranger?"

"I gave him what he's been telling me he's wanted all along, a life without me in it."

Tank stood up and hugged her, before leaving silently. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he couldn't let this go. The man he had called his best friend hurt someone very precious to him.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

Thank you for all the reviews! If I missed replying to one, I apologize for it. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Things will be coming together a little more. We have a lot of Hurdles to get over before Stephanie get her HEA

What the Heart Wants

She turned in for the night. Content that she had made at least one person happy. No matter what anyone thought of her, she was determined to make those who had rescued her and kept her safe time and time again, the happiest they could ever be. They gave so much and asked so little in return when they had been part of her life. She figured that must have been her down fall. She had taken them all for granted. Now she was paying a very steep price.

She needed to put space between herself and the rest of the world. It seems that Ranger was right about certain lifestyles not lending themselves to relationships, he was wrong about one thing; it wasn't his life that didn't lend itself to them, it was hers. Even a simple friendship never lasted. It wasn't worth it any longer. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that no matter what she had done differently she would've always paid this price.

 _TankPOV_

He couldn't help but clutch the file to his chest. Only Stephanie would think of everyone else when she was hurting so badly. She really believed that they abandoned her. In a way they had. When Ranger announced his engagement to Holly, Steph was pushed away by all of them. It wasn't intentional on his part. Subconsciously, his loyalties had been with the wrong person. She had helped them more often than not over the years. She had even helped rescue Julie for Ranger. He couldn't understand how that man refused to see that she really did love him. His so called best friend was a fool.

He sighed as he entered his house. Steph didn't even know that the one person he's been looking for since he was 22 years old was living one street over from him. She didn't know, because he had never invited Steph to his home. Just like the rest of the guys, Ranger included. They had followed his lead when it came to her, despite her sticking her neck out for them time and time again.

He picked up his phone to make a long overdue phone call.

"Yo."

"You're the biggest asshole I've ever known, Ranger," Tank spit out angrily.

"Want to tell me why you're calling me at 11:30 at night to call me an asshole?"

"I never realized that about you before. You lost the best thing that ever happened in your life. Just tossed it aside like a piece of garbage. Then you have the audacity to treat everyone around you like shit. All because she gave you exactly what you wanted. You pushed and pushed until she thought she deserved to be alone for the rest of her life. That she doesn't even deserve a single friend, because we all abandoned her. Do you know what a precious gift she gave me tonight?"

"Let me guess, you got in Steph's pants and now you think you love her?" Ranger asked in a snarky tone of voice.

"She gave me a file. A file that gave me all the information she had gathered, on her own free time, she gave me the one thing I've been missing since I was 22 years old."

"Charlotte?"

"Exactly, that broken woman has decided to find a way to make everyone she loves happy. I think she is trying to fix her karma. She thinks she's being punished, because every time she loves someone or something it falls to shit on her. In the end, she is always the one to get hurt, while everyone around her happily goes on their merry fucking way. She wants everyone she has ever cared about to get their dream come true, even if she never does."

"She's with Morelli, she's got what she wants in life."

"You really are a fucking idiot. What was the last thing she told you about the cop?"

"Almost two years ago she came to me and said they were done. I told her that they would work it out, they always do."

"She broke up with him two years ago and hasn't looked back since. Then you fucking rejected her and even told her how you met Holly. Yet she stayed in your life until it hurt to much to do so. I bet she is trying to make sure that you are happy everyday for the rest of your miserable life. How someone with such a big heart thinks she did something bad in her life to be punished, is beyond me. You were never good enough for her, but she honestly thinks that she's not good enough for anyone."

"Pierre, I'm war..."

"Save it for someone who gives a damn Carlos. You put her through hell, all because you only wanted a piece of her ass. Then handed her her heart back with a bullet in it on a silver platter. Unless it has something to do with the company, stay the hell out of my life too. I can't trust you to have you at my back, when you obviously will use psychological warfare on an innocent woman. Have a good life Ranger, maybe someday you'll look back at see what you've really lost. By the way, in accordance with your rule, we will be meeting on the mats Saturday 1700. If you don't show, I will hunt you down and the beating you'll receive will be worse than the one you got in Colombia."

He hung up his phone and decided that it was time for bed. He was mentally and emotionally exhausted. He would call the missing member of his family in the morning.

 _RangerPOV_

He ended his call with Tank, just as Holly came walking into their living room, wrapped in a red silk robe. He smiled at the petit, yet curvy woman.

"Baby, what's wrong?" she questioned.

"I need to go into the office, Tank just called. I shouldn't be gone long. Go on up to bed," he replied with a small grin.

She nodded at him sleepily and went back upstairs to the bed that she now shared with him. He grabbed his keys and made his way to a familiar apartment. He let himself in quietly and realized there were a few changes. The pictures she use to have on her walls were gone now. He looked at her entertainment center and her favorite movies were no where in sight. Heading to the kitchen he noticed a glass, one bowl, a fork, and a sharp knife were sitting in the dish rack. He looked at the fridge and noticed a list with a few tasks crossed out.

The list was heartbreaking to read, but read it he did.

 _Make things right..._

 _1\. Send everything back to Ranger. He's found his someday and it's not with me. No surprise._

 _2\. Leave Vinnie's, it's to hard to watch him be so happy, and I can never look at the alley again._

 _3\. Send Lula an anonymous scholarship. She deserves to be the nail tech she's always dreamed of._

 _4\. Find Charlotte for Tank. I hate seeing him so sad. I got him shot, so maybe this will make things right._

 _5\. Have Julie call Ranger. He misses her, no matter what he says._

 _6\. Find the ring that Lester told me about. He misses his mom so much._

 _7\. Find Hector's baby sister. He never asked to be stuck installing security systems in my place._

 _8\. Find Ella and Louis' son. She was always so kind to me. I guess it was because she was paid to be._

 _9\. Find Hal a special date. Someone that won't judge him. I knocked him out with his own stun gun._

 _10\. Get Cal tickets to see AC/DC. He was on Steph duty when Val went into labor._

 _11\. Buy Val and her family a house. She didn't ask for a sister who got her kidnapped._

 _12\. Get Daddy that Buick he always dreamed of. He wanted a son, not me. I was a disappointment from conception._

 _13\. Buy Grandma Mazur a headstone that she would have loved. It was probably my fault that she had a stroke._

 _14\. Find a way to help Joe marry the woman he's loved since highschool. I did break his leg._

 _15\. Set Dickie up with Senator Daniels. I wasn't good enough for him._

 _16\. Help Bobby and his wife take the honeymoon they never got. He never asked to heal me when I was injured._

 _17\. Give Vince a trip home before his grandma passes away. I never meant for him to get stuck on bomber duty when she was so sick four years ago._

 _18\. Take Ramos a bottle of scotch and cigars. He was so nice to me when I was looking for his son._

 _19\. Learn to cook, maybe then my mom would hate me a little less. Not only wasn't I a boy, but I'm horrible failure in life._

 _20\. Leave Trenton behind. Find someday for myself. Although, I seriously don't believe in fairy tales. I would settle for someone who could at least tolerate me._

 _Note to self... Always remember that you are not worth anything to anyone. Maybe then your heart won't be stomped on._

He noticed a small journal on her counter, and when he read it, he felt like someone had ripped his chest out. He read the entry for the day his engagement was announced. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest as he read the entry that was written in her beautiful script.

 _October 12_

 _My world just went completely black. Today is my birthday, and what was my gift. Fifteen phone calls, and not a single one was to wish me a happy Birthday._

 _As a matter of fact, I didn't even need the phone calls. I had been in the same restaurant as them when it happened. Ranger, the man I stupidly fell in love with, asked Holly to marry him. Right there in front of half of Trenton on my birthday. I was the lone diner, eating in a corner._

 _I want to hate him so bad, but I can't. I'll do whatever it takes to ensure his happiness. He found his other half, his love, his peace, his someday._

 _I'm tired of being hurt by anyone I get close to. I need to fix my karma. I just wish I knew what I did that was so wrong. I just wish that he really did love me._

 _I can't keep doing this anymore. I can't let anyone in ever again. I only get hurt in the end. I miss him. I miss hearing "Babe."_

The rest of the page was blurry. He went to her room and found his chair still in the corner. He sat down and watched her sleep. She started to wake up and rub the back of her neck, like she always did when he was near. She must have sensed him.

"Ranger, please go home. I'm sure Holly is waiting for you at the batcave." She softly sobbed out.

"I want to talk to you, then I'll go."

"It's too late. You found what you were looking for, and I'm happy for you. I can't get in the way of others happiness anymore. If you want me to leave Trenton, I will. I just need a few weeks to get my things organized and a new place to start over."

"I only have one question. Why didn't you tell me about you and the cop?"

"I did, you chose not to believe me. I did what you wanted and let go of someday. I was your friend until it hurt. I love you and don't know how to stop. So, I did the only thing I was ever good at, I left. You've done so much for me and have seen so many horrible things, that I just want you to be happy. That means Holly, then that means Holly. Now good night. Don't get shot."

He watched her roll over and her shoulders began to shake with violent wracking sobs. He got up and went to the front room and stood where he had been shot. She hadn't kept anything that had memories of them, except this apartment and his chair.

He took one last look around and left. He drove on autopilot to Rangeman. He went up to seven. He hadn't been there in almost six months. He listened to the voicemail that he had neglected and got angry when he heard the one she had left the night of Lester's wedding. Then he spotted the package she had sent over. He had Louis bring it up here without even looking at it, or even reading the letter.

The more he looked through the box, the angrier he became. How dare she claim to love him and still return everything he ever gave her.

 _I waited for someday to come, and in the end you found your someday. It just isn't with me. I tried to believe you. I wanted someday to be real. I wanted to believe that I was more than a good time. I wanted to believe that I really was home to you. I wanted so many things._

She had no clue what sacrifice or love was. He had waited for years for her. He finally let go. He honestly hadn't set out to fall in love with Holly, but when he first met her he fell hard. Just like he had with Steph, this time he was holding on with both hands. He hadn't been ready for Stephanie, so he kept pushing her away. How did he miss that the light was gone from her eyes? He sorted through the box and came to a smaller box. What was inside confused him. A green crocheted baby boot and a half finished one. She must have sent that by mistake. He knew that she made these for her friends that were expecting. It was her secret way to relax. She didn't want someone telling her how bad she was at it.

A memory of the night she came to him about Joe flashed through his mind. They hadn't used anything. He ran to his office and plugged in a quick medical search. She had a miscarriage the day after he told her about Holly. Why hadn't she told him? What was her reasoning for keeping it from him?

Probably, she thought that he would be mad at her. It was most likely an accident that she sent him these. She never wanted him to know. She has been alone this whole time. He didn't know how to face this. He grabbed the medical report, the small box, and the letter. They had to talk. He needed to fix this. He needed to find a way to tell her that it wasn't her fault.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

I have a lot of things going on tomorrow and wanted to make sure this was posted.

What the Heart Wants

She couldn't get back to sleep after he left. She got up and made a pot of coffee, calling into work she left message that she would be out today. She needed to start looking for a new job out of state, and making arrangements so she could make the move. She decided that she needed to take a moment and grab the little wooden box that held her secret.

She went to her closet and began to panic when she couldn't find it. It was the only thing that mattered. It dawned on her where it was when she was packing up the box for Ranger. She dropped to the closet floor, in the middle of the mess that was there. She never even heard her door open.

A familiar and strong pair of arms pulled her into a lap. They rocked her back and forth as the tears made their way onto his shirt.

"I'm sorry..that...that...I am not good enough for anyone...I...I'm sorry...that I...can't do anything right." She sobbed out.

"Babe..."

"Please, if you ever cared for me, don't call me that."

"Steph, I know about the baby."

She stiffened up in his arms and pushed him away.

"I didn't do it on purpose. I would have left before I even began to show. I figured I would have part of you, even if you never loved me. Then I must have done something wrong again, because as soon as you told me about Holly, I lost the only person who would have loved me just because I was me. I've never had that before. Now, I never will."

"Stephanie, you can still have children."

"No, because to do that I have to love someone. I give up on that. No one wants to be with me. I need a sign tattooed on my forehead that says stay away. Then things wouldn't hurt so much. I'm looking for a new place and job out of New Jersey, I'm doing it as fast as I can. Please, just give me a few weeks. I promise that I'll stay away from you and the your men until I leave. Just forget that you ever knew me. I'm not worth it."

"Stephanie, you don't have to leave. Everything and everyone you love is here."

"No, all I have are bittersweet memories. No one wants to have anything to do with me, unless it's to hurt me. I can't stay and watch the man I love get married and start a family with someone else. Two things he always said he would never do. I would have given my life up for you. In a way I am, all so you can be happy. Please, just leave the box. It's the only thing I have left."

"Steph, you don't have to go. Holly and I will leave. We've discussed moving to Miami to be closer to Julie."

"Wouldn't matter, you would still have to visit this office. It's best for everyone if I just go. You don't understand how much being here hurts. Everywhere I go, all I have is memories that rip apart my heart. Everywhere I go, someone tells me how much of a fuck up I am. There's always someone willing to tell me how I screw up everyone's life until they find something better. Go, Ranger. I have been grieving for my past and my child for awhile now. I will always grieve them. I didn't want you to think that I did any of it on purpose, and I didn't want you to feel the need to grieve."

"Why can't I grieve, don't I have the right to morn the loss of my child too? Damn it, Stephanie! You never should have kept it from me. You never fucking think about anyone else and what they want. You're a damn selfish person!"

"Don't you see, I don't want you to hurt. I never did. I know first hand how it feels to hurt all the time. You don't deserve that. I was sparing you any pain. You wouldn't have been emotionally attached anyway. Remember, you don't do emotions. Sadly, it seems you do. It was just me that you didn't do them with. Please, just live the life I dreamed of having. I was stupid to believe every lie you ever told me. Hell, even Mary Lou was using me for her own gain. She just wanted to spread more lies and rumors about me. I heard her talking to my so called mother one day. I'm nothing but a joke and a whore according to her.

"You found your someday, grab it and hold it close. You never know when the rug may get pulled right out from under you."

"Are you threatening me? Is that what you want? Seriously, you want me to be as miserable as you?"

"No, I'm not threatening you. I would never do that." She closed her eyes before she continued, "Why don't you understand that I only want you to be happy. I didn't want to hurt you, ever. No one should ever feel the pain that I've felt in my life."

He finally let out a breath. It was almost as though ever last bit of fight went out of him.

"I understand your need to leave. Will you at least let us know where you go?"

"No. If I'm leaving, it's going to be a clean break. No attachments to anyone or anything."

He nodded and kissed her curls, "I'll miss you."

"You won't even know that I'm gone. You're building a life with Holly. I hope it's everything you've always dreamed of."

He stood up and began to leave. Placing the little wooden box on her bed. He took one last look at the broken woman sitting on the floor.

When he put his hand on the door he could have sworn that he heard her say, "I will always love you."

He went to his home that he shared with Holly. He looked in their bedroom and saw that she was still sleeping peacefully. He watched her and realized that the sense of peace that he felt when watching Steph wasn't there when he watched Holly. Steph was leaving and there was a giant hole in his soul just from the knowledge. When she leaves there will be nothing left. He wouldn't stop her. This was what she wanted, what she needed.

They all had a hand in breaking her. She was the strongest person he had ever met. The guilt weighed heavy on his shoulders. He had never wanted to see her this way.

He went downstairs to his study and locked himself in. He looked at the time and saw that it was almost eight in the morning. He hung his head, wondering how he let it get this far. He had loved her from the first moment he saw her. He had a hard time reconciling how much pain he had caused her with his heart. He always knew that he would hurt her in some way. He always assumed that it would be an old enemy that went after her; not his own stupidity.

He soon heard Holly moving about, she knocked softly on his office door.

"Carlos, baby, are you alright?"

"I'll be out in a minute. I'm just finishing up something that's classified."

"Are we still going to your parents for lunch today?"

"Yes, but I want to talk about a few things first."

"Are we good?"

"We're good," he replied with a sad chuckle.

He hung his head and let the tears he had been holding in trail down his face. It wasn't often that he allowed his emotions to come to the surface, especially the ones of sorrow and pain. He mourned the loss of his child and the best relationship he had ever had. He didn't think he would ever be able to repair the damage he had done to the purest heart he had ever known. He knew that he had to let her go. He had brought enough pain into her life. He loves Holly and this is what he wanted.

He was hurting, but knowing that they all had a part in breaking the one person who made him human again was nearly devastating. His biggest fear had always been that his past would hurt her in someway, but in the end; he was the one who hurt her the most.

The pain he witnessed from her made him want to pull her in and tell her that he would fix everything. That they could try again. The rage he felt when she confessed that she was not going to tell him about the baby nearly overwhelmed him. He did the only thing he knew and lashed out to hurt her. It had been hard to reel himself back in to keep from tearing her down even more.

The knowledge that she still had kept it to herself after the miscarriage to protect him emotionally was the only thing that stop him from using force that would have physically tore her down as well. He called her selfish instead. That was a low blow to her. He knew better than anyone that she was the epitome of unselfish giving. She always thinks of others mental and emotional well-being before her own.

He found himself wondering what their child would have looked like. He felt in his gut that it would have been a boy that had her eye, curls, and instincts. He would have been a sturdy little guy with a heart of gold.

He knew that he needed to put all of it in a neat little box and seal it tight. It took awhile, but soon he was able to take a step forward. He had to mentally prepare himself for the well deserved beating of a lifetime from Tank this Saturday. He also needed to be ready for the major loss of employees in the Trenton office when word finally got around. He was worried that his ignorance would cost him every employee in that building as well.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot

 _ **Happy Wednesday! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. If I missed replying to you I am sorry. To the guest reviewer who said that they couldn't continue to read, I'm sorry you feel that way. I do hope you keep reading along, but this story isn't everyone's cup of tea. We'll be getting to the happy in a few more chapters.**_

What the Heart Wants

He walked into the kitchen and found Holly toying with a mug that was on the table. She was lost in thought. He sat on the chair next to her. He picked up her left hand and kissed her knuckles, praying that he would never hurt this dear soul.

"Honey, I wanted to talk to you about moving to Miami. I want to sell the Boston and Trenton offices to the core team and focus on Atlanta and Miami. This will also let us spend time with Julie. I'd like you two to finally meet."

"Ric, if that's what you want, then of course I'll go with you. I can't wait to meet Julie. She's your daughter and soon she'll be my stepdaughter as well." He cringed internally as she called him Ric. He had always hated being called that, but he wasn't going to stop her.

"About the wedding. I would like to wait until next year to have it. I want to make sure that my office hours aren't so crazy. I want to be able to devote more time to our lives."

"But, I was... nevermind"

"You were what, Holly?"

"I wanted to get married before the baby is born"

"Baby?"

"I'm pregnant, Ric."

"We'll discuss this later. Right now, this...this is not what I was expecting. Let's go to my parents."

He stormed off to get ready for lunch with his parents. He was getting angrier by the second. This should be him and Steph, his Babe the love of his life, but he threw that away.

He quickly got ready and they left to make to drive to Newark.

 _BobbyPOV_

Sitting in his office he is contemplating how far his life has come. He is married to a wonderful woman and their first baby is due any day. The last few years have been the best in his life and he could only see brighter days ahead. He was worried about Steph since they had heard about Rangers proposal to another woman.

He knew that she loved him and was hoping for a relationship between them. She quit working for her cousin and was never seen around. He wasn't sure what was going on. No one seemed to know anything. Her mother informed him that she was no longer welcome in her childhood home.

Her sister wouldn't allow her near her nieces ever again. Mary Lou was telling everyone that Steph was a selfish bitch. Lula and Connie had no clue where she was, and none of the guys from work knew anything. He would talk to the head guy himself, but knew that he was the reason for all of this. He felt like he hasn't been a very good friend to her lately.

He called her and offered to bring over lunch, he already told his wife about it and she didn't mind. After all Steph had introduced them to each other. He called in a order for meatball subs with extra sauce and cheese.

"Hey Bobby, come on in." He noticed all the boxes as he entered.

"Moving?"

"It's time, there really isn't anything here for me any longer. I need to find a job first, but as soon as I have it I'll be ready to leave immediately. I can't stay any longer. What brings you to my neck of the woods today?"

"I want to talk to you about a few things."

"Bobby, there's no reason too. I get why no one from Rangeman can be bothered to be my friend any longer. Not only is Ranger your boss, but he was your friend first. Don't worry about me. I'll land on my feet, I always do. I can't be in my hometown any longer, between the memories and knowing that I'm not actually wanted here by anyone, it's not worth it any longer."

"Why do you think your not wanted here?"

"My family wants nothing to do with me, the guys all stopped talking to me, and Ranger found his someday, just not with me. He's getting married.

"You know I was in the restaurant when he proposed to her. It was my birthday and I was celebrating it alone. The only well wishes I got were from myself. I had fifteen messages when I got home, all telling me about it. Even Mary Lou called to rub it in. I have no friends, no family, and I'm never going to find someone who will love me for me. I guess Ranger was wrong about him having to balance his karma, turns out that I'm the one who needs to fix their karma."

He ate and chatted with her for the next forty five minutes. He didn't even notice her slip an envelope into his pocket.

"Bobby, do me one favor," he nodded, "Make sure she's everything he needs. If he ever needs anything, send me an email and I'll do everything I can to help him. He deserves to be happy."

He nodded and held her tight, afraid to let go. He knew that this would, most likely, be the last time he ever saw the woman who brought light into their lives. The woman who had introduced him to his wife. He couldn't stop the feelings of guilt from coming to the surface. He and Jen had introduced Ranger to Holly.

When he got to his truck he found the envelope she had slipped into his pocket. Inside was an all inclusive package to a resort that Jen had talked about wanting to go to. It was valid for the next two years. He couldn't help the tears that welled up in his eyes. He felt even worse for abandoning his friend when she needed them the most.

Back at the office he found Tank, Lester, and Cal. Pulling them into a conference room so that they could make a plan to help her.

"She's not going to let us help her. You know that," Lester stated.

"We have to try. That woman opened her arms and her heart to each of us when no one else would. She had our backs and we walked away from her," Tank said with a touch of anger in his voice. "If we had been the friends she deserved, than none of this would have happened."

"Lester, Tank's right. We have to try. She feels like this is her punishment for something she did wrong. That she isn't worthy of love, family, or even a single friend. I'm afraid of what she may do to herself if she keeps down this path."

They never heard Ranger come in until he spoke.

"What, who will do to themselves?" he growled out.

Tank stood up and gave him a right hook into the jaw. "It's not any of your damn business. The mighty Manoso has fucked up and we have to clean up his damn mess once again. The heart of this company is leaving and we are damn scared about what she may do out of some damn misguided belief, that's she's not worth anything to anyone. You already know my opinion of you and what you did. Now the four of us are going to help her before she does something stupid out of some belief that she fucked up some how.

"She never asked you for more than you were willing to give her. She gave you everything she had and was still screwed sideways in the end. Each of us had a hand in her downward spiral, but you have always been her catalyst. I hope you always regret how you fucked her over in the end."

Ranger slowly stood up from the floor. Taking stock in the three men who stood before him. He spoke slowly, explaining his plans to move to Miami at the end of the month. He had one last thing to say before he left.

"I know that I fucked up, but there isn't a damn thing I can do about it now. Holly's pregnant."

He slammed the door as he left, leaving three very stunned men in his wake.

Bobby was the first to shake himself from the shock and reached over to fist bump Tank. "Nice right hook."

"He'll get a lot more come Saturday at 1700 hours. He and I have a date on the mats. It'll be worse if I have to hunt him down," Tank growled out.

Lester spoke up, "I'll help you hide the fucking body. Cousin or not, what he did was inexcusable."

 _ **A/N If I get enough reviews, let say 15, I will post a bonus chapter on Friday.**_


	6. Chapter 6

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

 _ **Well, you all blew me away with the amount of reviews! You went above and beyond and more than doubled the goal. I promise we'll get past the sad stuff soon. Thank you for all the reviews, I will be replying to them today.**_

What The Heart Wants

 _CalPOV_

They sat there stunned at Ranger's announcement. Cal walked in with the biggest, most pissed off attitude they had ever witnessed from the hulking man. He handed Tank his letter of resignation. He was going to follow Stephanie wherever she ended up. Tank immediately knew what he was planning.

"Walk with me to my office," he told him.

He followed Tank down the long corridor. If Tank wouldn't accept his resignation he was willing to quit on the spot. His Angel needed someone to have her back. He hasn't failed a loved one yet, and he wasn't going to let her be the first. His brother had called him early this morning to say that he had received a resume from one Stephanie Plum. Anthony planned on offering her the job she was applying for, but wanted to know why she was moving from New Jersey to Maryland.

He knew that he was lucky that she had applied there. His family owned a bail bonds office right next door and they were always asking him to come work for them. He had wanted to make his own way, but for her he would swallow his pride.

They made it to Tanks office. Tank sat there and glared at him for a moment.

"Why do you want to leave the company?"

"I found out that early this morning my brother Anthony offered Stephanie a job. My family owns a Bail Bonds company next door and I thought she could use some form of back up in a new city and state."

The sagging of Tanks shoulders and look of relief that came across his face was unmistakable. Cal was confused by this. He wasn't sure what the big man had up his sleeve, but it was something. He watched as Tank heaved out a huge sigh. He could have sworn he heard him say a quite thank God, as he began typing away at his computer.

"You have eight weeks vacation time banked, Three weeks sick leave and two week paid personal leave. That's a little over three months. As soon as you go, I will give you all the time you've accrued. After that time I will put you on an unpaid leave of absence for an unknown amount of time. We don't want to lose you, but I believe Bomber is our priority. You just gave us a way to provide backup for her, as well as a friend in a new city."

He agreed. He would do anything for her. He knew that he wouldn't be able to actually tell her where he was going. He would just let her know that he was leaving Trenton to help out his family. They honestly were struggling with not having enough BEAs and now would be the best time to give them a hand. His brother Anthony ran searches for them out of his office. He was a PI, and when Stephanie's name came across his desk for a training position, he knew he had to scoop her up quickly.

It was dinner time and he stopped and grabbed some Chinese take out for both of them. He knocked on her door and found an red, puffy eyed Stephanie with tear stained cheeks. He pulled her into a tight hug and she let out a huge sob.

"Come on, Punkin, tell me what's wrong," he cajoled.

"I'm not sure I can. I may be able to tell you most of it, but not all. It's not just my story to tell. How about eat first and then you can help me finish packing? I'll tell you my story as we pack."

He agreed then helped her get plates and cutlery to eat with. She grabbed them each a bottle of water.

"I just got a job offer when you came up. I'm taking it and moving to Maryland. I just can't stay here any longer. I'm not running away, I'm starting over completely. My heart can't take all of the memories any more," she said in such a soft voice that he almost missed it.

They finished eating and cleaning up their dinner mess. She pointed out what she still had to do and it seemed like there was very little left. It was mainly bagging up donations. The majority of which he had seen her wear for distractions. A few minutes into packing she began to talk.

"Joe and I split up two years ago. We knew it was over. It wasn't working and I had caught him with a girl from Stark. We wasted years on each other and it wasn't worth it any more. The night I told Ranger about it, I made the stupid mistake of sleeping with him again. When we were done he told me that Joe and I would work it out; we always did.

"Nearly three months later Ranger called me and said he had met 'the one'. I was so excited, thinking that he meant me. My heart broke when I realized that it wasn't. He had found someone else. He had met Holly on a blind date. He told me that he was moving on from me. He was tired if the back and forth and wanted someone stable in his life, someone who actually gave a damn about him. I wasn't going to tell you about what happened next, but I need to tell someone.

"I started throwing up after I got off the phone. Around three in the morning I was dry heaving and I began cramping and bleeding. I knew what it meant. I drove myself to the hospital, knowing that I was losing my baby. Ranger's baby. The only piece I had left of him. I wasn't going to tell him that it happened at all, but like always, he found out. He told me that I was selfish because I never told him."

"He's moving to Miami, why not stay?"

"Too many memories. My family doesn't want me here, the guys have all pulled away from me. Lula and Connie use me for their own gain, and Mary Lou did too. I need a fresh start, a new job. I need out of here."

"Where are you going?"

"Maryland. I'm taking a job that will help me become a P.I. I enjoy the hunt of the job with bounty hunting, but the thrill of the hunt had me hooked. I'll be able to do the parts I liked most. They are connected with a bonds office that they do the most of the work for."

"Well, you aren't the only one leaving. I'm going to be working at my family at their bonds office. I need to get away from the mess that is Rangeman Trenton too."

He watched her nod in understanding. They both were hurting. Her, because of everything that had happened in her life and him because he didn't want to lose the sister of his heart. He wrapped his arms around her when she began to gently cry again.

It soon became apparent that she was starting to become hysterical. It took almost an hour for him to calm her down to the point of hiccups.

"Cal, if I ask you something will you answer me honestly?" She queried between hiccups.

"You know me better than that, of course I will," he replied while leaving a soft kiss on her curly head.

"In the years that you've known me, have I done something so heinous that I deserve this punishment? Am I just one of those people that is not lovable?"

"Steph, you've always gone out of your way to help people. You have taken a lot of crap from people, because they don't have the beautiful heart that you do. Everything that's been happening is not because of something you've done.

"As for being lovable, yes, you are very lovable. The guys and I have been horrible friends to you and I know that we are all disgusted with ourselves and our behavior towards you. You deserve so much better than any of us."

"Cal, all I've done for you guys is get you shot, injured, or nearly killed. trying to keep me safe. I was only an obligation because of your boss. I understood that."

"Stephanie Plum, you are not an obligation. You are my friend, despite how poor of one I've been."

"Thank you, Cal," she replied as she wiped her nose into a tissue.

 _ **A/N I know which MM she will end up with, I'd like to hear who you think it is. Some of you may already be on the right track, but then again you may not be. lol! I have to say that you are all awesome.**_


	7. Chapter 7

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

 _ **Thank you, to each if you that reviewed. I've been having issues with being able to reply to them and I apologize for my poor time management. In an effort to gain your forgiveness I am posting this a few hours early.**_

What Hurts The Most

When they finished up the packing he pulled her in for another hug. He could smell the sweet cloying scent of her body wash. She had been grieving over so many things for the last two years. He didn't want to tell her about the bomb that Ranger had dropped on Rangeman. It wouldn't be worth the darkness that would pull her under from it. She had so much light and love to give. She was in a bad place and he wanted to help her find that light again. Hopefully, he'll convenience her to fall in love as well.

"Thank you, Cal. Please do me a big favor and not tell anyone about the baby? I've had all I can handle without dealing with the false condolences and snickering."

"The guys wouldn't do that."

"Yeah, well where have the guys been for the last few months when I needed a friend the most? Where have the guys been when I was at Lester's wedding and Tank was the only one willing to dance with me? I don't know what I've done, but it must have been something awful for things to go this way. Maybe now I can start finding my happiness. Maybe now I can find my someday."

"Someday?"

"It's what Ranger use to tell me. Now he's found his someday and his HEA, but it's not with me like he promised. I was just a puppet on a string for him. Entertainment, as he once called me. My mom was right, I was nothing more than a high dollar whore. The sad part is that my child was collateral damage in the war that is my life."

"You can't think like that. Maybe the time wasn't right for you to have a baby. Maybe your supposed to have your someday with someone else?"

"You're sweet to say that, but everything my life touches is destroyed."

They continued talking until it was almost two in the morning. She offered to let him stay the rest of the night. They were, after all, two grown adults and could share a bed without a problem.

He woke her up gently around six to tell her that he had to head into work. He still had the week to finish out before he moved. She nodded and gave him a sad little smile.

"Don't forget about me, and keep in touch please," she requested.

"I'll never forget about you, Plum. I promise to do better and keep in touch with you."

As he was leaving he spied the note on her refrigerator. It was a list she must have written at some point. Now he knew where the concert tickets he had gotten came from. He shook his head sadly at her attempt to fix her karma. She was the sweetest most loving person he had ever met. He couldn't comprehend how so many people could hurt her.

Once back in at Rangeman he went right to Tank's office. Noting that Ranger was in there changed nothing for him. He was going to tell them both that he was officially leaving Rangeman for good. He wasn't going to stay on payroll. He refused to be put in that position where he would have to report back to either of them. He deserves better, Stephanie deserves better.

"I'm taking the job with my brother in Maryland. I'll be moving out this weekend. I know it's short notice, but I can't stay here in any form any longer," he told them.

"Ranger, will you excuse us. I need to do the exiting paperwork and interview with Cal. I'll talk to you after lunch about the installs tomorrow."

They both watched Ranger leave and the door shut with a small snick. He looked up at Tank, waiting for him to say something. Only, he found Tank getting all the necessary documents for his release of contract.

"I'll make sure that all of your unused time is on your final paycheck. Normally we don't hire back if we aren't given the two weeks notice that we request, but I will back date it so that we can should you decide to return."

"I'll only return if she does. I understand why she's leaving now. I know the entire story. There's more to it than anyone knows and it's not my place to tell. Her leaving... it's the best move she could possibly make. I want to be there when she finds her wings again, and I want to watch her fly higher than before."

Tank agreed with a small nod of his head. He ran one of his overgrown hand over his face and bald head. You could see the strength it was taking him to hold back any further questions. The room became thick with tension.

"I know Ranger hurt her emotionally, but please tell me that he didn't lay a finger on her," he pleaded.

"No, he didn't physically harm her."

"Then I won't ask. Ranger is leaving for Miami by the end of the month. He and Holly will be married there the week they arrive. This goes no further than this room. He's only doing it for the kid. He and Holly seem to have had some type of discussion about it last night. He is determined to make it work with her. He doesn't want a repeat of Rachel."

"He made his choice and broke an amazing woman doing it. He can go fly a kite off a cliff for all I care. He knew how Steph felt, he also knew that she and Joe were done. He chose to walk away from the one woman in this world who could come close to being heaven sent. I won't feel bad for him. I pity him for his stupidity. When Holly has had enough of his shit and all the hours he works, he better stay the fuck away from Stephanie. I promise that they'll never find the body. She needs time away from everything."

Tank agreed with what he was saying and also informed him that they would do everything in their power to keep Ranger away. He knew that at some point Ranger would make the biggest mistake of his life and come see her, but he would protect her at all costs.

He made his way down to four and called Ella for some boxes. Luis brought down a bunch of banana boxes that are perfect for moving as well as a few wardrobe boxes. When Luis left he began packing.

There was a very distinctive rap at his door. Knowing who is was he debated not opening it. He knew that there would be hell to pay if he didn't and he still had to finish out the work week.

He opened the door and growled out, "What can I do for you Ranger?"


	8. Chapter 8

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

What The Heart Wants

"You're following her," it wasn't a question or a demand. Just a simple statement of facts. Cal nodded his head in a quiet ascent. He stood there waiting for Ranger to continue or leave. He wasn't going to give him anymore information than absolutely necessary. He knew that if he tried to even speak right now, Ranger wouldn't even make it out of the apartment.

"I know I screwed up, and I regret it more than you'll ever know. Just stay on her six and keep her safe."

"With everything, even my own life," he told Ranger.

Ranger held out his hand; they shook and he pulled him in tight to whisper, "She is my world, even if I destroyed hers. Take care of her and her tender heart."

Cal was taken aback by what seemed to be his blessing. He watched Ranger walk down the light blue corridor. He couldn't help but think that Ranger was a sad and completely broken man. He had loved a woman for years and when she finally came to him out of love, he turned her away. He had no clue how Ranger could do that. He destroyed three lives, including his own child's, in one swift blow.

Cal gently closes the door to his apartment and called his brother Marcus.

"Hey, Calvin! How's Hobbs?" Marcus answered laughing at his own joke.

"Funny, Marc. I made my decision. I'll be down Sunday, ready to start Monday."

"This permanent or just until we can hire more help?" Marc asked with a more serious tone.

"Permanent."

"Good. Mom and Dad will be happy to have you home. You staying with them?"

"No, I'm going to stay in my house in Loganville. It'll be a forty five minute commute, but worth it. I want to work on it, add on to the deck and a few other things."

They spoke for another thirty minutes before hanging up. He continued on packing up his apartment. When he checked the time he realized he needed to get upstairs for monitor duty. It's what he would spend his last week doing here.

Lester looked up when his partner for the evening shift sat down next to him. Tank had let him know what was going on and was glad that Cal would have her back. She was going to need it. He knew that not only had Ranger messed up, but all of Rangeman had. They let the most valuable member of the family down and there was no way to make up for it.

She was right when she told him that they would've said they were to busy to even chat with her. They had all pushed her into the background. Their loyalties had already been with Ranger and they didn't want to upset the apple cart. Ranger had seemed genuinely happy. However, the cost was more than they could even afford. It had cost them the greatest gift of all. The acceptance and light that Stephanie had brought into the company was so profound, so amazing and they lost it all.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even realize that Cal was talking to him.

"Santos! What's up with you tonight?"

"Sorry, I've got too much shit on my mind."

"Your wife?"

"Steph."

"You know she's going to be alright, don't you?"

"I know. I also know that the shoulda, coulda, woulda's aren't going to change a damn thing. We messed up in a way that hurt the most important member of this company.

"I normally would say family, but with her gone it doesn't feel like a family any more. I don't think it ever will again. She accepted us at face value. Hell, she even had a way with Hector. No one can get through to him and that damn wall he put up. Honestly, with her leaving, he's the one I worry about most. You weren't here before she started, he was a thousand time more frightening than he is now. I don't even want to know what's going to happen when he finds out she's gone."

"You know I'll have her back, right?" Cal asked him. When he nodded Cal continued. "The company I'm going to work for is seriously short staffed. Do you think he would be up for a move to Baltimore?"

"If it means being able to be near Steph, I think he'd quit here on the spot."

"I'll talk to the owners and to Hector tomorrow."

"You know, Hector keeps track of her on his time off? He loves that woman like she is an angel sent here from heaven. A gift from God himself for him to ensure her safety."

Lester could see Cal's slight scowl marring his face. He knew that Cal loved her as well, but it just wasn't the forever kind of love that Hector had for his beautiful. He also knew that there was a woman near Baltimore that Cal had left behind years ago. They had talked about it a great length. The sagging of Cal's shoulders wasn't in defeat, but in acceptance of what Lester had as being the truth. Cal would find a way to help them find the happiness they both longed for.

The next few hours flew by. The end of their shift found both of them down on the second floor, knocking on Hector's door. When he opened it, there was an air of anger about him. Hector knew something was up with Stephanie. He had witnessed her taking large bags and lots of boxes to her car today. He followed her to the rescue mission where she dropped it all off. She didn't even wait for a receipt to write it off on her taxes.

"We need to talk," Lester said. Hector let them in, but the air was still hostile. Cal was worried that this may be a very bad idea.

"Stephanie is moving to Maryland on Friday," Lester started. "Cal will be leaving as well. If he can arrange for a job at the company that he's going to work for, which is next door to Steph's new job, would you take it."

"Job or no job. I go. She needs me and I need her. I watch her in quiet for to long now. Ranger hurt my angel too much."

"You'll have a job and a place to live Hector. You do need to talk to Tank. It may take another week before you can move, so they can shuffle people around and bring in someone to take over IT here."

"Manny can, I teach my brother all my systems. They can hire from the contract pool. I will go with my Angelita."

Cal made the call to secure a job for Hector as well and Lester left to get home to his wife. Tank was called to Hector's office to discuss the logistics. Rangeman would soon be losing vital members of the Trenton staff.

A/N okay, so this one was short, but I have a one shot that I am posting later this week as well.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot and Tank is forcing my hand to write another Tart story.

 _ **I am posting tonight, because we have some nasty storms rolling through our area and device may get sketchy here. That's not even with Hurricane Irma that may hit is this weekend. I live in NE Georgia and some of the trackings show us getting hit. For those in it's path, please stay safe!**_

What the Heart Wants

She still couldn't sleep. She was scared about starting over. She was terrified about being alone. Her mind refused to shut down. She knew that this was the best thing for her. It was a way to get away from all of the memories and find new ones. It was a way to find her place in the world. She had finally stopped crying and the numbness was taking over.

She got out of bed and made some sleepy time tea. It had worked for her before and hoped it would work again. She had had a long day today. She went into her workplace and sat down with her boss. He was very understanding about her leaving. He was from the Burg and was well informed about most of what had transpired. He made sure to let her know that she could count on him and his family if she needed anything.

She grabbed a small notebook and began to write. She had found it a good way to get out all of her emotions. A small release of sorts. She stared at the blank page, unsure where to begin. The last few days had been overwhelming.

December 10

 _Today I told my boss that I was leaving. The job in Maryland came just in time. Having Ranger know about the baby makes it harder for me to even stay. I need a fresh start, a way to forget about my past and all the hurt._

 _Cal came over last night with dinner and a shoulder to lean on. I ended up spilling everything to him. In a way it was cathartic. Someone finally knew my secret, someone that I intentionally told. He was very understanding and I'm glad he's a good friend. I'll be sad when we lose contact. He told me that he is leaving Rangeman, and I hate that for him. He is such a good man. He found his place there and I feel like it's my fault that he's leaving._

 _I'll miss my family even if they won't miss me. I loved looking in on my nieces. I loved watching them grow. I am saddened by the look on Mary Alice's face. The broken, disheartened look. She seems defeated. It's the same look that I wore for years. The same look that I wear once again. It's like looking into a mirror. I can only hope that one day she'll find her happiness. If she ever needs me or comes to me, I will help her fly._

She closed the small book and looked out of the window. The silent tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought about everything she had lost. Her love, her hope, her joy, her happiness. She was leaving to finally do something for her. It was her life and it was time to live it. It was time to move past waiting on Ranger, he made his choice and she wasn't it.

She looked around at her meager belongings and couldn't believe that her entire life could be contained in a few boxes and a duffle bag. She knew that she would miss certain aspects of her life, but that part was over for good. She was closing the book on it completely. Her heartache would carry her through to her new beginning. She would no longer wear her heart on her sleeve. She would be stronger than that. She would leave in the morning so that she could get settled into her new place that was thankfully being provided by the company she was going to work for as well as being furnished.

She wanted to drive past the places that held the most memories for her before leaving town in the morning. It was the only way she would be able to say goodbye to those she loved most. They may not have loved her, but she gave everything she had until they broke her beyond repair.

The next morning after she had her car loaded up she began her trek. First she made her way through Chambersburg and past her childhood home, past Valerie's, and Mary Lou's. She drove past the bakery and Morelli's.

She slowly drove by Rangeman and watched him and Holly pulling up to the gate. It was her last chance at seeing Batman. He looked contented, more so than he ever had with her. Of course she had never been more than a line item in his entertainment budget. She smiled a little when she spotted Hector making his way in from his morning run.

She decided to eat breakfast at the greasy diner where it all began. She sat with her back to the wall in the same booth she had become Eliza Doolittle in, but the professor was noticeably absent and would be for the rest of her life. He was happy now and that's all that mattered.

After paying the bill she drove past the bonds office. It was early enough that she might be able to catch Vinnie. He may be scum, but he was the only family member that still spoke with her. Hopefully, since it's Friday, Connie won't be in yet. She tended not to show up until noon since it was his day to open the office. Sure enough he was unlocking the door and Connie was no where in sight. She parked, got out and walked over to him.

"Hey Vinnie," she greeted with no enthusiasm.

"Steph, what are you doing here?" he asked startled.

"I just wanted someone to say goodbye to before I leave Trenton."

"Leave?"

"Yes, Vinnie, leave. I'm moving out of town. I need a fresh start, away from everyone. I also wanted to thank you for giving me a job and sticking by when no one else would."

"You're family, Steph."

"Apparently you're the only one beside Grandma Mazur who ever believed in that word."

"Uncle Frank know your leavin'?"

"No. Honestly, I'm not telling him either. He made it clear that I was no longer his daughter when Helen told me I wasn't welcome at Grandma's funeral. No worries though. I'll be alright on my own."

"I wish you would stay, you were the best BEA I had. No one had a better capture rate, even if your methods were a bit unorthodox."

"Nothing left for me to stay for Vin."

He nodded his head in understanding and pulled me in for a hug. Normally she wouldn't let her skeezy cousin touch her, but she craved human contact.

"You let me know when you get where your going. Okay, Kid?" he whispered.

She hugged him a little tighter and gave her agreement. He wasn't all that bad. Even if he had his fun with Joyce, who was she to judge. There must be something even worse about her since the family still accepted him.

She was just getting ready to leave when Joyce pulled up. The shock of seeing her registered loudly on Joyce's face. The sneer slowly crept up before Joyce started her diatribe.

"Come begging for your job back Plum? What am I thinking, of course you are. You can't..."

She held her hand up forcing Joyce to stop her tirade mid sentence.

"I came to say goodbye to my cousin. I hope you have a great life and it's everything you ever hoped for," she states calmly before turn and leaving.

As she drove off she looked in the rearview mirror and chuckled as she saw a red faced Joyce being laid into by a very irate Vinnie. At least leaving Trenton gave her the laugh she needed to face her daunting future.

The drive was pleasant for a very cold winter day. There was no snow or ice looming or lingering. There was a smell on the air of snow to come, but it wouldn't begin flying until long after she was scheduled to make it to her destination. He new apartment would be in the same building as her job and she could see the benefits of being in such close proximity to her place of employment.

The two hour drive, give or take, gave her time to look back over her life. For years she had blamed everyone else for everything that was wrong with hers. It seemed to her that she picked up a few traits from her mother after all. Helen Plum blamed everything in her life on Stephanie. Beginning from the moment of her birth. She had been born a girl instead of the required boy.

She looked over her history with Morelli. Each and everything he had done, she had allowed. It didn't matter that she had been a six year old girl or a confused and emotional teenager. It didn't matter that she had cleared him from a murder rap or helped him solve a large portion of his cases. She had caused him an undo amount of stress by staying with him longer than she should.

Ranger, she didn't even know where to start with him. He had been hesitant to become her mentor, he had offered to help her train numerous times. Instead she blamed him for failing her. In truth she had failed him. He bled money for her, had been shot for her, he was willing to give his life for her. She had been bed hopping between him and Morelli for years. That's why he didn't believe her and why he had moved on. It wasn't that he didn't believe her, it was what their history had shown she would do. He truly was a man of action after all.

This would be a fresh start. Her new job would give her the ability to afford what she needed to do. It would also give her the means to look for those who were lost to loved ones. She would be able to make amends and move on with her life.

When she crossed the state line into Pennsylvania she felt a weight come off her shoulders. It was freeing and her heart felt like it may be able to beat again someday. She knew that once she settled into her new place she would find someone for therapy. Probably, she needed something for her depression as well. It only made sense she decided firmly. She didn't want to slip to far down the rabbit hole that she had fallen into.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

 _ **We'll, we made it! Irma did some damage including no power for four days, and we're still fighting with our internet provider for WiFi. I'm hoping this comes through if not, I will repost when I have everything back up and running. Phoenix went back to school on Monday, they are having issues with internet as well, which is really not a great thing for them, since his school is one of the public schools that uses Google Classroom. I am just grateful that we are safe. ~Lynda**_

What the Heart Wants

Arriving at Hobbs Private Investigation Associates she called the owner from her car. He was going to meet her there in twenty minutes. She was surprised when a man who looked identical to Cal, minus the flaming skull on his forehead, appeared in front of the office. She gave him a slightly confused look before stepping out of her car and approaching him.

"Kevin?" She queried, as she reached out her hand to shake his. "I'm Stephanie Plum."

"Nice to meet you in person, Ms. Plum. Let me show you up to the apartment and I'll help you get settled in," he said, shaking her hand.

"Please, call me Stephanie, or Steph if you prefer."

He nodded and motioned for her to follow him. They walked up to the second floor, where she found out the the apartment encompassed the entire thing, there were two more apartments on the top floor. They were currently unoccupied. Hers, however, had three bedrooms, two baths, and more space than she had ever imagined having. Her jaw dropped at the sight of the walk-in closet that the master suite held. He handed her the keys and they both went down to begin bringing things up.

"Well, Steph, would you like to get settled in more, or would you like to join my family for dinner tonight?" he asked.

She thought about it for a few moments before answering. "Maybe another time, tonight I think I'll just run to the store and get comfortable here for the night. I have a few people I need to check in with as well."

"Why don't you come over next Sunday? My wife and I are hosting a family dinner. You get to meet the rest of the staff, most of my family, and the staff from the bail bonds office we do most of our research for. Plus, my twin is finally moving home, so it's almost like a welcome home party as well."

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I don't want to intrude on your family time," she tried to politely refuse. She just wasn't comfortable meeting so many new people at one time, it felt like a recipe for disaster.

"Nonsense! Be at this address by noon," he said. Handing her a piece of paper. "I insist that you come."

She nodded and they said their goodbyes. When he was out the door she set about putting her belongings away. When she found her photo albums, she sat and got lost in the memories. They were bittersweet. All of times when she thought she had been happy, a few of the stolen moments with Ranger and his Merry Men, some of her with her friends and family, and pictures of the nieces that she would miss growing up. Even the few pictures she had left from Dickie were of better times in her life. She didn't even realize it had gotten to be so late in the day until her stomach began to demand food. Chuckling sadly, she put the albums away and stood.

She made out a quick list and was heading out the door, remembering to call Vinnie on her way. He was glad that she was safe and made her promise to call if there was anything he could do for her, or even if she just wanted to hear from home. It honestly surprised her with how he was behaving, but she was grateful for it.

Pulling up Google on her smartphone, she found the nearest superstore. She wanted to get groceries and a few things to make the apartment more homey. She could have easily done it online, but she wanted to get it done this evening. She made a stop at a fast food joint to grab something quick to eat before heading to what seemed to be a central shopping area.

She quickly found the store she was looking for and parked. Once inside she made a beeline for the home goods area. She found a bed set, towels, bath accessories, and all the kitchen items she wanted. She even made a side stop in the pharmacy area to stock up on everything she needed there. She was beginning to feel confident that this was the right decision to make. She was comfortable here, and no one knew her. The sense of anonymity was relaxing.

She finished up her shopping and loaded everything into her car. Once she made her way home she was surprised to find someone sitting outside of the building. He looked vaguely familiar. When he looked up and smiled she instantly knew who it was and felt slightly angry.

"Hector! Did you follow me?! Why are you here?! I specifically asked that I be left alone!" She ranted. "Why the hell am I even talking to you? You don't speak English and I don't speak Spanish."

He wrapped her up in his arms and made soothing sounds until she calmed down before talking. "Angel, I speak English, and I am waiting on my new landlord to show up. I start work Monday at the bonds office next door"

"Please tell me that you didn't follow me here?"

"No, they offered me a job and apartment. I don't like working for Rangeman any more. The heart of the company wasn't there anymore."

"Ranger doesn't leave until the end of the month," she stated confused.

He reached out and stroked her cheek. "Not Ranger, you Angel, you," he said gently.

A full bloom blossomed on her face. Hector always thought it was one of her more endearing traits, despite her finding it annoying. He took her hand when she looked like she was getting teary eyed.

"I've been watching you and want to be your friend," He told her.

"You don't want that. No one does. I'm not worth the burden."

He was going to speak again when his new boss, Marc, came up to them. Marc was pleased to find that they already knew each other and were on good terms. He helped settle Hector into his apartment and Stephanie bring things up from the store before he left.

Stephanie got things put away and made the lone phone call that she had promised to make to let Vinnie know she was settled in for the night. The only thing he asked was that he kept her in the loop with how she was doing. She was surprised when she ended the call to hear a knock at her door.

Checking the peep hole she smiled little when she realized that Hector had come over. Opening the door and letting him in she offered him a drink. He grinned and held up a bottle of wine.

"I could definitely use that tonight," she stated with a wistful sigh.

"Me too, Angel."

They sat together on the sofa that came with the apartment, drinking straight from the bottle. She told him the entire story from the beginning and why she was working on her karma. He didn't laugh at her, just looked at her sadly. He told her about his past and how he had lost his entire family in a turf war.

They fell asleep together on the sofa, only waking when the sun began to make it's climb into the sky. She began to giggle and wipe drool from her chin and he was trying to get his hair back into place. There was a knock on the door and they both looked at each other. Hector grabbed his gun and motioned for her to get behind him.

She noticed the grin he had when he stepped away from the door and open the door. When she saw who was at the door, her jaw hit the floor and she began to shake. Cal and Tank were there sporting matching grins.

"What? How on earth..." she stumbled over her words.

Tank left out a full belly laugh. "Did you really think that I'd let you go without saying goodbye, especially after the gift you gave me, Little Girl?"

"Tank, that was supposed to stay between us."

"Nope, I wanted you to meet Charlotte."

"You know Pierre, when you said you wanted me to meet your best friend, I figured I would actually get to hug her as well," a diminutive woman came out from behind him. "I'm Charlotte, you must be Stephanie Plum. All the big guy here could do was tell me about you. My husband and I enjoyed the ride here listening the entire way. Although, I must say I've heard about all of your exploits in Trenton. He gave us more of an insight. This is my husband, Thomas.

"We had to come thank you for bringing my brother back to me," Charlotte told her as they hugged.

"I want to take all of you out to lunch. Also, Stephanie, I wanted to discuss a few things with you to help close off your ties to Trenton. It's just a few business things we need to complete."

"I don't see why not, I don't start work until Monday. Hector, do you mind if we go to the shops after work?"

"Si, Angelita."

Hector and Stephanie both got ready and they all loaded into the two black Expeditions that the guys drove down in, and in answer to her unasked question Cal replied, "I'll be taking Charlotte and Thomas home right after lunch."

They went to a little Mexican restaurant not far from her apartment. When they were seated Hector sat on one side of her and Tank the other.

"Did you really tell her I was your best friend?" She leaned over and curiously asked Tank.

"Of course. You're closer to me than anyone else."

She sat back with a dumbfounded look on her face. Tank leaned over and said, "We have a few things to discuss this evening. Would you be able to put up a weary traveller for a night?"

She only nodded. The waitress took their orders and a relaxed conversation ensued. Nearly two hours later they finished their meal and parted ways. Hector, Tank, and Stephanie leaving in one vehicle, the rest were heading back to Trenton. The tension in the truck became so thick you could almost cut it with a spoon. A very dull rusty spoon.

Once they were back and settled into her apartment Tank took her hand between his massive ones before he began to speak.

"Hector, Cal, and I no longer work for Rangeman. I've taken the early retirement plan that was offered me, but am continuing as a major share holder. I do need to ask what you want to do with your three percent of the company."

"What three percent? I don't have any stock in the company."

Tank sighed before replying, "Ranger gifted it to you after Scrog. I need to know if you want to sell it, or keep it."

"Sell it, I want nothing tying me to Ranger. Other than any mutual friends we may have, I want to start over. What are you going to do now?"

"I'm starting over as well. I have my PI licence and intend to put it to use. Anthony has more work than he can handle alone, so I'm coming on board too."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N not mine.

Damn it, Tank! Why must you insert yourself into this one...sigh...on with the story.

What the Heart Wants

She was suddenly overwhelmed by all of the information coming her way. Hector recognized this immediately and hunched down in front of her. He made her look at him.

"Angel, breath and take things one step at a time. Sleep on what to do with your shares then make a decision tomorrow. Tank and I will be here."

Her eyes widened when it sunk in that Tank was staying. "What about Rangeman Trenton? Who's going to run it?"

"Lester will. He's done it often enough when I was on a mission at the same time as Ranger."

"What about Ranger? What does he have to say? I don't want to cause a rift in your friendship. True friends are to precious to let go of for someone like him."

"Our friendship is still there, not as strong as it use to be, but still there. I've been given a back seat to his life for over a year now, it's time for him to take a backseat to mine. I have someone who needs me more and had done more for me than I can ever repay."

"What the hell are you talking about? I've gotten you shot, your leg busted, and I had to investigate you when Ranger suspected you and the rest of the core team in espionage!" She quickly covered her mouth, "I'm sorry. I hated doing it. He hired me to look into everyone and it turned out to be a bunch of damn kids."

"It's okay, Little Girl. He told us all after the fact, even how you stood up for us the entire time and caught the real culprits."

She felt horrible and couldn't stop the sob that escaped. She was beginning to panic, feeling like she was boxed in on all sides. When she started to hyperventilate, they seemed to know that she needed room and let her stand up. She ran to her room and collapsed on her bed. She could hear the angry whispers passed back and forth. It took almost an hour until she was ready to face them again. She knew that there was more to the story.

When she walked into the kitchen to grab a can of soda she found Tank at the table with a laptop. She found it fascinating that for the first time ever he didn't even seem to realize that she had even entered the room. Taking the time to actually look at him she found a few unexpected things. He was not only tall, but looked rather young. The tip of his tounge was slightly sticking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated solely on what was in front of him. His head tilted slightly and his shoulders hunched; the laptop looked exceedingly tiny compared to his large hands. She shook all thoughts of his attractiveness out of her head. It was a road she wasn't willing to travel ever again. The cost was too high.

He heard a defeated sigh, seemingly from nowhere, and looked up. He was caught off guard by her appearance in the kitchen, but quickly tried to disguise it. She pulled out a chair at the table. He knew that he needed to tell her everything that was going on.

"I want to discuss a few things with you that happened yesterday," Tank said firmly.

"I take it that I'm not going to like it?"

"I want you to understand that this is not something that reflects upon you. Can you do that for me?"

She nodded her head hesitantly before he continued, "I should start with Thursday when Ranger came into the office. A few of us were having an impromptu meeting when he showed up to announce his move to us. Just before he walked out he informed us that Holly is pregnant."

She closed her eyes and her shoulders sagged. "It's alright. He's moved on and I'm trying to be happy for him. I hope that he has everything he wants out of life. It's not with me like I thought it would be, but I'll always want the best for him," she replied unconvincingly.

"I also wanted to tell you that last evening, my final act as second in command at Rangeman was to take him to the mats."

Her body became tense and her head shot up. He could see a million questions flying across her face before she asked a single one, "why?"

Placing a hand over hers, he looked directly into her eyes and dropped the blank face. Allowing every emotion to skirt over it before he stated, "he hurt you. Number one rule at Rangeman has always been that no one could hurt you."

"Listen, I haven't been tied to Rangeman in a long time now. So, while I appreciate the sentiment, I can honestly that I'm not worth it. I never have been."

"That's something you need to work on, Steph. You are worth it and more."

"Then explain to me why I was suddenly friendless and without any family? Explain to me why I had to loose everything and everyone I cared about? Maybe you can explain to me why I lost the child I was car..." She clamped a hand over her mouth when she realized what she was about to say.

Tank's face grew dark and he practically growled out, "the what?"

She seemed to fold in on herself and her shoulders began to shake, "nothing, Tank. Absolutely nothing. I get it if you're mad at me too. Ranger has probably kept your job for you, so you don't need to stick around and pretend to be my friend any longer. I'm just going to keep living my life alone."

She stood to leave, but the grip he had on her hand prevented her from running. He looked at her with compassion and a gentleness that she long for, but learned to never expect.

"Please, Stephanie, tell me what happened," he implored.

Her eyes got a glassy far away look to them. It was as though she was in a trance before she started speaking again, "I told you about the night that I told Ranger about Joe and I, well most of it. We had sex that night and I ended up pregnant. I was planning on leaving before he could find out, because I didn't want to be another Rachel. Then he told me about Holly.

"I lost the baby that same night. I knew then, that I must have done something horrible during my life for everything to keep piling up. Then you guys stopped talking to me altogether and I decided that it was time to just give up on having friends, family, or just anyone around in general.

"I can't seem to do anything right anyway, so why bother someone else with my messed up life?"

She moved to yank herself from Tank's grasp, only to find his arms circling around her and him pulling her into his chest. She let out the most heartfelt sob ever heard as she finally began to really mourn the loss of her child. It hit her harder than Ranger pulling away from her. It hurt her more than her family disowning her. It would have brought her to her knees if Tank had not picked her up.

He carried her to the sofa and sat with her in his lap. He felt helpless as she cried so hard that the wails were silent. He rouched slightly and pulled out a handkerchief. Wiping the tears that fell from her face he couldn't help be realize what they had done to the woman currently dwarfed in his arms. A few tears left his eyes as well.

She slowly calmed down and spoke with a small voice, "I didn't mean to ruin your shirt. I'm sorry. I'll wash it and...your handkerchief? You carry a handkerchief?"

He let out a chuckle at her incredulous tone. Soon she was giggling too, which quick turned into all out laughter between the both of them. It took nearly a half an hour for them to both calm down

"I needed that," Stephanie said with a grin. "Now, you need to tell me the real reason you left your very lucrative business to come here."

"That's easy to answer. You're here," at the confused look on her face he felt the need to continue further. "Seriously, I should never have turned my back on you. It hadn't been intentional, but I realized that I had left you to fend for yourself without a friend in the world."

"So, guilt brought you here," she said with a hint of disgust.

"No, love did. The love of a friend who is hurting."

She sat there gaping at him. Friend. She mulled the word over. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that was something she needed more now then ever before. That and a good therapist. Having these three men here, may just be what she needs.

She wraps her arms around his neck and offers a softly whispered Thank you.

 _ **A/N I almost forgot to post today. I am on day four of a nasty migraine, but I've remembered!**_

 _ **Also, to any reviews that I may have missed replying to, Thank you! I am completely blown away by the sheer number of them, and how well received this story has become. You are all awesome!**_


	12. Chapter 12

A/Not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

I am sorry that this one is late. It's been a rough week. I will have a Birthday one shot for Steph on the 12th.

What The Heart Wants

They say together for a little bit and she finally got up the courage to face the things she really needed to. Squaring her shoulders she looked at Tank and asked, "will you help me find a good therapist? One that I can afford?"

"Don't worry about the cost. I'll help you with it. I think it may be time for me to deal with my demons too, Steph," he replied.

She gave him a look like he wasn't making any sense, so he continued, "I have things in my past that haunt me. Things that have changed my life. I use to be a very outgoing guy and I lost that person. It's part of the reason I joined the military. I was running from Trenton."

"Trenton? You're from Trenton? How did I not know that?" She nearly shrieked. "How did I not know you? I mean, yeah, your probably younger than me, but still."

He let out a chuckle. "Yes, I'm from Trenton. Actually, I'm five years older than you and my sister is seven years older than you."

Her jaw dropped at hearing that. She thought he would be in his mind to late twenties, not thirty eight. The shock was evident in her face. He reached over and gently shut her mouth.

"Where did Hector go?" She quickly changed the subject.

"He went over to his place to give you some space. Do you want me to have him come back over?"

"Would you mind?"

"Steph, this is your place. I'm just a guest here. I'll go get him for you."

She watched as he got up and left her apartment. She knew that she needed to get her head on straight and start living life again. Her list was almost complete and she was going to ask Hector, Tank, and Cal to help her finish it. It was important to her to complete each item. No one seemed to understand her need to balance her karma. Her world had fallen apart. It was at moments like this that made her believe all the crap the her mother had spouted off at her during one of her famous why me rants.

She could feel the self doubt creeping into her bones. She had a hard time getting past everything people have said to her and she didn't know why. Just as she was starting to choke on her own feelings again, Hector wrapped her up in a warm embrace as Tank looked on with a small grin on his face. She relaxed into his hold and nodded before moving away to sit in the arm chair.

"Guys, I need help with a few things," she began. When they both nodded, she continued, "I need to finish my list, and I need to find a therapist. I can't keep living like this. I'm going down a dark path, and it's not pretty. I keep thinking about things I could have done differently and I know that's not healthy.

"For years I let my Mother put me down while my Dad just sat there like a lump. I stayed with Morelli despite the way he treated me. I let myself fall in love with a man who could never love the unlovable person that I am. I'm sick of setting myself up to fail and that's all I ever seem to do."

"Stephanie Plum, you listen to me right now. You are _**NOT**_ unlovable. You have to much to give the world, but some ignorant people want to push that out of you. You accepted a large group of ex-military and former gang members when others would cross a street to avoid us.

"Your Mom, Joe, Dickie, hell even Ranger are all assholes for treating you the way they did. You are such a precious gift to those who really know you, please don't ever think otherwise," Tank finished with a determined tone.

She blinked at him, wide eyes and in shock, not at the words he said, but with the passion in his tone. She had never heard him speak so much. Soon Hector was laughing at the two of them and it was so infectious that Tank and Steph joined in. It was a cathartic moment for her and allowed her to truly relax for the first time in months.

They collected themselves and realized how late it was getting and she starts her new job in the morning. After a quick meal with the guys and showing Tank to the guest bedroom she drifted off into a deep sleep.

The next morning found Steph a bundle of nerves at 6:30 with a cup of coffee in hand. Tank had just walked into the kitchen from his morning run. Noticing her anxiety upping he just walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You'll do great, little girl," he said softly pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She relaxed back into his chest slightly and took a deep breath. She wanted to borrow all the courage she could from one of the bravest men she had ever known.

When he stepped back to get himself a cup of coffee and some toast she spoke up, "Hector was here about fifteen minutes ago. He wanted to see how I was before he met up with Cal for their first day at the bonds office.

"Do you want to go get breakfast with me? I don't start until eight, and there's a little diner on the corner. That is...I mean...nevermind, I'm sure you have more important things to do this morning."

"Actually, this is the first time in years that I don't have an obligation to fullfil. I think breakfast sounds great. You're going to want to wear your winter gear though it's cold and looks like snow today."

She smiles and rushes off to get her things for her room. He chuckled at her eagerness. Grabbing his coat, hat, gloves and scarf, he suits up and is ready when she comes out. The make the short walk to the diner. Once they place their order and their drinks arrive Tanks starts to tell her a few things about himself. She's not even sure how to respond to him. All too soon they meal is over and she needs to get to work.

They walk back to the building and her nerves rise once again. He squeezes her to him in a brief hug before walking back upstairs to her apartment as she enters the office. Kevin is waiting there for her with a smile and a small plant.

"My wife sent these violets for you to welcome you to the family. She's bringing us lunch as well so that she can meet you. I hope you don't mind," Kevin tells her kindly.

"They're beautiful, thank you."

He gestures for her to follow him. He shows her to an office and informs her that this is where she'll be working and training. When he shows her the search programs that they have she is pleasantly surprised to find that they are similar to the ones from Rangeman.

"I've used a system like this at Rangeman. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually excited to use them again."

He grins and replies, "Well then, how about I have you do searches today and tomorrow we'll work with the camera and learn about bug placements?"

"Absolutely! Oh, I wanted to make sure that it was okay if my friend stays with me until he finds his own place?"

"That's fine Steph. Was that Pierre Sherman I saw with you earlier?"

"Yes, and he's the one staying with me."

"He's a good man. I served with him in the Army. Now, go ahead and get started on those searches. We'll take lunch around noon."

She nods as he leaves her new office. She takes the top file on the stack, when she opens it's she goes pale and starts shaking. Of course this would be the first thing she would get.

A/N I apologized once again for not getting this up last week, but a routine check-up at my cardiologist landed me in my home away from home. The dreaded hospital. Anyway enjoy!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

What the Heart Wants

She began to hyperventilate as she read the file in front of her. Could she really do this one? The thought that it would bring up ghosts of recent past made her shiver. She had to push herself away from her desk and place her head between her knees to calm down.

Fifteen minutes later she had finally collected herself enough that she felt she could do her job. Grabbing the file once again, she read it in it's entirety. She was shocked at the amount of charges listed and the different aliases listed, but none were of the one that she knew this person by. She didn't even need to do the research to know where this person could be located. She wrote it in the file and took it directly to her boss.

"What did you find Plum?" he asked.

"It's all in the file."

He opened the file and was shocked at what she had written in it. He then questioned, "Are you completely certian? That was awful fast."

"I have no doubt in my mind."

"Well, shit. I have some phone calls to make. You did good Plum, damn good."

He dismissed her with a nod of his head. She felt horrible and ten feet tall all at once. She made the short walk back to her desk and immersed herself in the remainder of the rest of her work. Other than grabbing another cup of coffee, she didn't leave her office again. She was surprised when a short, matronly, curly hair woman knocked on the door frame of her office.

"Hi! You must be Stephanie. I'm Jen. I've brought lunch for all of us if you'd like to join us in the small conference room."

"I don't want to intrude on time with your husband. I can grab something from my apartment."

"Nonsense. We see more than enough of each other. I have stuffed shells and garlic bread with me. All fresh and homemade. I make my own pasta. My mom would be horrified if I ever used store bought. She came here from Italy when she met my Dad while he was stationed there. So what do you say?"

Steph could only blink and follow the diminutive woman. Before they even got to the conference room she could smell the garlic, basil, and olive oil. Her mouth began to water at the amazing aroma. She was surprised to find Tank and Cal in the room waiting for them. She was directed to sit between them as Jen began to dish up for everyone.

"Steph, you did amazing work with that file. I handed it over to my contacts in the FBI. They were surprised at how quickly you gathered the information and may request that you help out with their more difficult cases."

"Really?" she asked in shock. "I'm not really that good, just lucky most of the time."

Kevin gave her an incredulous look before Tank spoke up, "Steph, didn't you know that they've asked for you before? When you've worked for Rangeman they've asked for you specifically numerous times. Didn't Ranger tell you?"

"No, he never did. Honestly though, I'm not that good."

"We've got to work on your confidence," Jen said as she place a large helping of lunch in front of her. "Kevin rarely praises his employees and he never lies."

"Steph, our capture rate went from seventy five percent up to ninety whenever you worked with us. It's currently at sixty percent. Rangeman was always better because of you. No one, not even Ranger, had your raw instinct," Cal informed her.

She couldn't his the blush from her cheeks at the praise they were giving her. As soon as Jen served herself and sat down they began to eat. She was peppered with questions about her life and childhood. When Jen asked something that made her uncomfortable Jen noticed and quickly changed the subject. Keven excused himself when her cell phone rang.

When everyone else finished she helped Jen clean everything up before she left. She was surprised when Jen gave her a fierce hug.

"You are such a strong woman and you should be proud of how far you've come. If you're not busy Saturday I hope you'll join me for a spa day. Kevin is keeping the kids for me that day."

She replied with a smile, "I would love too."

Soon she giving a hug to Tank and kissing Cal's tattoo then going back to her office. She had only been back at her desk a short while when Kevin came to speak to her.

"The FBI will be planning a takedown and want you to be part of it. They'll keep you safe in a van, but they want you there so that they can have visible verification. Would you be willing to do that?"

"I guess. I mean as long as I don't have to do anything else. I tend to screw things up."

"From what I understand, you didn't have the proper training for the job you were doing, but did damn well anyway. You had a one hundred percent capture rate and no one else has that."

She hung her head and shook it, "that can't be right. I'm not that good."

"Plum, we _**have got to**_ work on that confidence." He walked out shaking his head and saying, "I'll let you know when and where when I know. They'll pay all all of your expenses when it happens."

She drove back into her work and finished all of the files he gave her by then end of the day. She went into his office and gave him all of the files. He could only blink rapidly at the site of all the files being finished. He pulled him self back to the moment and place them in the in box on his desk.

"I'm impressed, Plum. I need you to be ready for the gun range and dojo tomorrow, so wear yoga pants and a tank top. We'll get you outfitted with whatever you need once we assess your abilities."

"Ok," she said timidly, "don't expect to much. I'm a horrible shot and I don't exercise."

"Confidence, Plum, find it. I think you'll surprise yourself. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Yes, sir," she gave a small smile.

Once in her apartment she followed her nose to the kitchen and found Tank at the stove.

"Marry me?" she teased him, "you could stay at home and take care of everything while I work."

"Not a chance in the world, but I'll teach you how to cook if you want. Although, I may take you up on the offer if you're serious about getting married," he teased back.

She laughed hard and loud. Her eyes hit the dining room table and saw it was set with her dishes, wine glasses, and a bottle of the that was uncorked and breathing. Two candles were in holders and waiting to be lite. She raised her eyebrows in question.

"We're celebrating your first day on your new job. I wanted to make it special."

She smiled and asked, "do I have time for a shower and to change?"

"Absolutely, just wear comfy clothes. We're having a movie night when we're done eating."

She scampered off and into the shower. While there she contemplated the need of purchasing a high powered shower head. She also wondered how she was going to tell Tank about what she found today. She wasn't even sure if she should. Shaking her head she quickly got out , drying her hair and throwing it up in a pony tail once she was dressed. She quickly made her way back out just as he was pulling some kind of dish out of the oven along with two baked potatoes.

As they ate they spoke about their day, and she was excited to find out that Kevin had extended a job to Tank. He'll be joining them at the range and dojo tomorrow for an assessment as well. She helped him clean up after they ate. When they went to sit in the living room he must have noticed the tension change. He gave her a questioning look.

"Tank, we need to talk. Ranger is in serious trouble."

 _ **A/N and I'm going to leave it right there. Please put your torches and pitchforks away.**_


	14. Chapter 14

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

 _ **I thought I would let you guys have this one a little early. This week is promising to be a busy one for me.**_

What the Heart Wants

Tank gave her an incredulous look that said she had to be joking. After all the grief that Ranger had caused her, he didn't fully understand why she still cared.

"What's going on, Steph? Why do you think he's in trouble?"

"Holly..." she cleared her throat, "Holly isn't who she seems to be."

"What are you talking about? Are you still upset over Ranger choosing her over you?" he growled out.

"I can't believe you just fucking asked me that. I'm going to forget you even said it," she was getting pissed. "You know what forget it. Obviously you don't think much about me. I've come to you with info before and you never questioned me, but now you do. Just forget it."

She stalked away from where they had been sitting and locked herself in her room. If Tank wouldn't listen to her, she knew Ranger never would. She knew that ship has sailed, but damn it, she only wanted him to ever be happy. Twenty minutes later there was a knock at her door.

"Stephanie, I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. Will you please come out and explain this file that Kevin brought for you?"

She found herself sitting in her living room with Tank, Cal, Hector, and Kevin. The file that she had been given earlier was spread out on the coffee table before them.

"Holly Jenkins, as she is currently going by is wanted by the FBI. She has multiple aliases, and a string a dead bodies behind each one. Each time, she becomes engaged, claims to be pregnant, then married the man. Within three weeks of the wedding, she loses the 'baby' and a week later the man is dead. She sticks around long enough to collect the fortune and life insurance. At which point she disappears. Kevin put her file on my desk this morning and I immediately knew who she was. No, I'm not doing this out of spite. Look at the pictures of each alias and tell that is not Holly."

"I'm sorry, Steph," Tank said softly.

"Whatever Tank, we'll deal with that another time. Right now we need to protect Ranger at all costs. My personal issues with him have no reflection on this."

Kevin spoke up, "the feds have a takedown planned for Friday. They want Steph there in the observation van. She can have one other person with her. They are requesting you, Pierre." Tank nodded at Kevin. "This will happen at Rangeman, but we need a way to get her into the office that day. Any ideas?"

"She's already told Ranger that she's pregnant. I can possibly get a hold of Bobby and have him convince them both to come in for something," Cal added.

"Do that. The sooner we can get her off the streets the better."

Kevin pulled out a sat phone that looked like it could pick up TV stations from a different Galaxy, and called his contact. After an hour of planning everything was in place for Friday and it was nearing one in the morning.

"Plum, Sherman, don't come in until twelve thirty. We'll go to the dojo and range then." Kevin then turn to Steph personally, "I understand that you're looking for a therapist. Jen has kept her license up since our kids were born. She would be happy to see you pro Bono if you want."

"Absolutely. I need to work on myself and if she's willing to see me for free all the better."

He handed Steph her card and left. Everyone except Tank hugged her and left as well. Tank came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her before speaking.

"I'm sorry. I was out of line earlier. I just didn't want to see you hurt again."

"I'll never go back to that, but I don't want him hurt either. I will not let him have that power over me ever again."

"I just worry about you."

"I get that, but I hope you know that I would never set her up to fall if she's what makes him happy. It's not in me to be cruel. I'm not my parents, I'm not Morelli, and I'm not Ranger. I don't abandon my friends despite having be abandoned myself. Even though you all left me, I have always trying to find ways to make sure you each have what you wanted, including me out of your lives. I never asked for any of you to follow me."

"Stephanie, let me talk, please." She nodded at his request. "I'm sorry that we've hurt you. More importantly, I'm sorry I hurt you. You're right, we abandoned you. We didn't treat you like a friend. You have every right to be mad at us. I'm hoping that you'll at least let me start to make amends with you."

"There's nothing for you to make amends for. You not only had business partnership with Ranger, but a friendship as well. I always have and always will be an outsider. I'll never belong. It's just how it is. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed."

He stood there stunned at what she had just said to him. Just before her bedroom door closed he heard her let out a sob. He let her down again. They all had. This time he wasn't going to wait for her to come to him. He went to her room and let himself in. She didn't even seem to notice that he was there until he laid down on the bed next to her.

"I'm sorry I'm not good enough to be anything for anyone. I'm sorry that I'm such an awful person. There really can't be a God if I have to suffer. I know there are people out there that have it worse, but damn it. I can't keep living like this. I'm tired of never having anyone. I'm tired of being doubted, and I'm tired of people thinking that I have ulterior motives..." He let her ramble on, even though it was breaking his heart. She was right; she didn't deserve this.

They both fell into a fitful sleep. It was nearly nine in the morning when they got up for the day. Steph didn't say a single thing and that unnerved him. She was never quiet. She didn't even let out a loan over her first sip of coffee. That had him terrified. He knew that he would need to keep a close eye on her.

He had stepped out of the kitchen to take a phone call. When he came back he heard her on her own phone with Jen, Kevin's wife. When he heard her say that her life wasn't worth it anymore he barged into the kitchen. Stephanie dropped her phone.

"Don't, don't you ever fucking say that your life isn't worth it. If something happened to you, it would destroy me."

She couldn't hold back her snort of derision. "If you're going to listen in on a private conversation you need to make sure you have all the facts. I was speaking to my therapist and telling her that having Ranger in my life wasn't worth it anymore.

"Also, destroy you? I'm going to call bullshit. Right now you just want to appease your conscience. Not once did you fucking check on me or bother to call me after Lester's wedding. It wasn't until I ran into him and his wife that any of you even bothered with me. The second I come to you about Ranger being in danger, you, just like everyone else who've been in my life, assume that I'm trying to do something unscrupulous.

"Was I hurt by him? Yes. Did I want him hurt? Never. I have put myself in harm's way more often than not for all of you. Apparently that wasn't enough for any of you. I'm making some major changes in my life, not just in a physical sense, but after a lifetime of mental and emotional abuse I'm fixing that too."

It was a toss up as to who was more shocked when she shoved him. He picked up her phone and could hear Jen calling out for her; handing it to her he made a precision turn on his heel and left the kitchen.

They met up with Kevin at 12:30 to go to the dojo. Tank was surprised at how well Stephanie actually did. She told them about taking a course for the last eighteen months in capoeira. They were both even more surprised when they took her to the outdoor gun range. She could outshoot Tank with his own gun. Hell, she could probably give Cal and Zero runs for their money. Kevin actually called Cal to meet them at the range as they were finishing up.

Cal set up his rifle, with the scopes dialed in for his preferences. After a few minutes of instructing her in the basics he set up the targets. He called out the shots and was damn surprised when she hit every single one.

"Damn Angel! When did you learn how to shoot?" Cal asked in awe.

"Umm...I don't. I mean Eddie from down at the station gave me a quick lesson after Ranger got me my first gun, but that's it."

"Jesus Steph, if this is untrained, could you imagine what you could do with some advanced training," Cal exclaimed.

"I'd really rather not," she told them softly.

They had been so excited that they had all forgotten why she hated her gun in the first place. I mean shooting a guy in the heart five times was bad enough, but she did it through her purse.

They called it a day and made their way back to her apartment. She hopped into the shower while Tank called Hector to have him pick up dinner for all three of them.

Hector picked up Greek carry out and Tank told him about how well Stephanie had done today. Unfortunately, they noticed that Stephanie was beginning to get hives and having a hard time breathing.

After an ER visit they discovered that she had a goat's milk allergy and the feta cheese used in their meal had triggered it. They went home and settled back in for the night. The next few days were going to be busy ones.

A/N the allergy to goat's milk is entirely possible. I had never had it until I was an adult and feta cheese was what set me off. I still love gyros (never had one of those until I was adult either), just no cheese.

Also, this story has nearly 300 reviews! I am so excited!


	15. Chapter 15

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

 _ **I am going to apologise right here. I am participating in NaNoWriMo this month, so my updates may be a bit later than normal. On the plus side, over 5,000 towards of my original work done on day 1!**_

What The Heart Wants

The following day was a busy one for Stephanie. She was shadowing Kevin for the day as he was following up on one of the less savory side of PI work. A client suspected his wife of having an affair. They were trying to get pictures of the affair as it was happening. So far they had bubkis. The woman went about her routine, completely unaware that they were following her. This was the final day that Kevin was working on this case.

Around five that evening they called it a day. "It seems that the accusations are unfounded in this case," he began. "Tomorrow, I'll speak with the client and tell him what we've found. I'll let you know what time I'll be meeting him. I want you there to see how I present this to him."

She nodded her head and gathered her belongings. Jen was meeting her at the small diner to have dinner and speak more at length concerning her mental well being. She was ready to move forward with her life. She needed to move forward with her life.

She arrived right on time and found Jen sitting at a booth near the back with a glass of soda waiting for her. They quickly ordered their meals and Jen began to ask questions. Ones she never wanted to answer.

"I know we spoke on the phone about what led you to your decision to get help, but I want to get a basic understanding about a few things first. Tell me more about your childhood. What was it like?" Jen asked.

"I'm not even sure where to begin with that," she said shakily. Taking a deep breath she decided to start at the beginning. "I'm the youngest of two girls. My sister Valerie is older than me by three years. She always did everything just right in the eyes of my family. I am the family screw up. I was off to the wrong start at birth, I was a girl instead of a boy. My mom never made her disgust over that a secret. My Dad ignored us unless it was absolutely needed that he was involved.

"I was yelled at and blamed for everything that went wrong. I learned early on to be quiet and stay out of the way unless they needed to parade me in front of their friends. My only real escape was my Mazur Grandparents."

Jen seemed to contemplate this before she asked, "Are there any incidents that stand out in your memory? Any kind of physical abuse?"

Stephanie cast her eyes down and pushed her plate away from her. She was having a hard time controlling her emotional response to the question. Inhaling a deep breath, she pushed the tears down. "I received spankings for bad behavior, but nothing that can be classified as physical abuse. My mother often yelled; calling me stupid for my actions."

"What are the most prominent memories of her doing that?"

"One time I jumped off a garage roof trying to fly. I broke my arm and it got so bad that the doctors at the hospital had her removed from my room. Grandma Mazur came to pick me up."

"Anything else?"

"We were always told to stay away from the Morelli boys. I was only six and Joe Morelli was eight at the time. He invited me to play a game with him. I only had one other friend and she was away that weekend, so I was happy just to have someone want to play with me."

"What happened Steph?"

"Can we go somewhere else? This is too public for this discussion."

"Sure. Do you want to go to your apartment?"

Stephanie nodded her head, unable to speak past the lump in her throat. They paid their checks and made the short walk to her apartment. Tank was there, but as soon as he noticed them he informed them that he was going to Hector's for a few hours. Steph let out a sigh of relief.

"Would you like some coffee or something to drink?" she asked Jen.

Knowing that she needed a moment to gather her thoughts Jen replied, "coffee would be great."

As she set about making a pot of coffee she pulled herself together and spoke as she worked. It was her way of detaching herself from the images that came to mind whenever she thought about her first encounter with Joe.

"Anyway, back to what I was saying. Joe, invited me to play a new game with him. We had to go in his garage. He wanted to play Choo-choo. I thought he had a toy train he wanted me to see." She began to shake as she recalled every moment of that day.

"He told me that I needed to take off my panties. I was stupid enough to do it. He...he...h..." she was gulping for air, trying not to cry. "He put his finger inside of me, saying that he was the train and I was the tunnel. It hurt so bad. I kicked and grabbed my panties. I didn't even realize that I had put them back on inside out."

"I went home crying and telling my mom that I hurt down there. She started to get mad and when she went to check for an injury she saw my undies. She demanded to know what happened. I told her and she called me a stupid little slut and spanked me. I wasn't allowed to go play with Mary Lou for two months."

"Are there any other times that you and Joe interacted that she berated you for?"

"I was sixteen and Joe was eighteen."

"What happened, Stephanie?"

"He raped and humiliated me. I mean maybe it wasn't rape. I didn't want to have sex with him, but I didn't say no either."

"It's still rape, Steph. How did he humiliate you?"

"He wrote about it on men's room stalls before he left for the Navy the next day. That's how my mom found out. She grounded me for the rest of the year and called me a stupid whore." Stephanie choked out. She was fully crying by that point.

"None of that is your fault. What happened to you was unacceptable. Your mother should have reported that first incident to children services. Who knows how many other young girls and teens were hurt by him doing the same thing. Your mother is at fault as well. She should have protected you, comforted you, and gotten you help. She should not have made it into your fault," Jen took a sheet of paper and a pen out She began to write as she continued to talk. "I believe that you may have PTSD as well as depression. I would like you to see a colleague of mine to determine if medication would help you to start with the healing process. I think this is a good place to stop tonight. I would like to meet with you three times a week. I know that the rest of your week is full, but maybe we can meet on Saturday, or even Friday night if you get back early enough.

"For now, I want you to take an hour to yourself everyday, not sleeping, but reflecting. I want you to wake up early and think of all the good things that have happened in your life. Start your day on a positive note. If you have trouble I want you to call me or a close friend immediately. You need the support of your friends right now. Do you think you can do that?"

Stephanie nodded her head in agreement. When she walked Jen out she knocked on Hector's door. He took one look at her red swollen eyes, trembling lips, and wrapped her up in his arms. Tank looked at her questioningly as the tears began to fall again.

It was late when she cried herself to sleep on Hector's couch. Tank picked her up and carried her to her place and tucked her into bed. He wanted to hurt the people who had hurt her so much. Himself included.

 _ **A/N Holy Smokes! I am in shock. This story has 300 reviews! I am so excited! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I am overwhelmed at how well received this story has been. I know that I missed replying to a lot of reviews on the last chapter and I feel bad for that. Please know that I have read each and every one of them. They mean the world to me.**_

 _ **Lynda**_


	16. Chapter 16

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

It's been awhile, and I won't go into all the details that caused the extra long delay. I will have a couple of one shots coming out in the next few days as well.

What The Heart Wants

She woke up the next morning, feeling hung over. She knew that it was from the emotional turmoil of the night before. She was slightly surprised, but comforted by the large arm that was wrapped around her waist. She tried to nudge Tank awake. They had a busy day of planning ahead of them. The more she nudged the tighter his grasp on her became. She began to really laugh for the first time in nearly two years when he told her to stay still.

His head popped up at the sound of her laughter. He couldn't believe his ears. When he saw her smiling he was elated.

"What has you in such a good mood?" he leaned back and asked.

"You," she laughed out. His grin grew even more and he placed a kiss on her forehead.

Sighing she stated, "We need to get up. We have a date with the feebs in an hour to plan the takedown."

"I'll make breakfast while you get ready."

She nodded and slowly crawled out of bed. She went into her closet, picked out a light blue fitted suit and black heels.

He watched her go into her master bath. He heaved out a deep breath and went to the kitchen to make their meal. He knew that this was going to be hard for both of them. She loved the man that she was about to hurt and he was his best friend for years. This was going to hit both of them hard. He finished setting up the coffee pot and slicing up fresh fruit before shuffling off to his own room to change.

She looked up from her meal when he stepped into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He sat down with his coffee and food. The silence was uncomfortable, because they both knew what was on their schedule today.

He finished his meal and finally spoke up, "you may want to take a bag with a few days clothes and necessary items with you. We'll most likely leave for Trenton after our meeting and come home Saturday morning."

"As soon as I'm finished with dishes I'll do that." She paused then said, "this is going to be hard, isn't it?"

"One of the hardest things I've ever done, but we have to remember that we are saving him not betraying him."

"He's never going to talk to us again, you know that right?"

"If that's what he decides, then we'll just have to live with it."

"That doesn't make it hurt any less," she softly told him.

He stood up and wrapped her in his arms. He let her find comfort in him as he took it from her. After a few moment they let go of each other and he helped her clean up their breakfast dishes. It wasn't long after that they were ready to go to meet with the feebs.

They entered the PI office and found everyone was already there and waiting. Lester, Bobby, and Woody were there as well. They looked at Stephanie in shock. Soon a quick round of hugs began. Their reunion didn't last long as the FBI agent in charge started the meeting bu explaining who they were after and how they found out where their target was. Holly was going to be taken down before she could take another life.

"Ms. Plum, there has been a small change made in the takedown. We need you to be inside Rangeman to make a positive i.d. we're going to set you up in cyber intel office that Hector use to work out of. It will keep you out of sight, but still close enough if we need to retrive you.

"Once Mr. Manoso and Holly enter the control room floor we'll need you to communicate to us if this is indeed our target. You will have an ear piece and a mic, as well as two people of your choice and one FBI agent with you. Do you have any questions?"

She shook her head no, or at least tried too. Her entire body was shaking with the knowledge that Ranger would definitely know and see her at some point.

"Ms. Plum, we also feel that you and Mr. Thomas would be the best to be with us when we explain to Mr. Manoso what is going on. Will you be okay doing that?"

"I don't have much of a choice," she whispered.

The meeting continued for another two hours before they were informed that they would be leaving for Philadelphia shortly. They would stay there instead of Trenton. Tank took her hand despite the raised eyebrows from their friends and took her outside for air. She was starting to have a panic attack and he knew he needed to help her get it under control.

He quickly found a bench in the cold air and sat her down on it while pushing her head between her knees. He told her to press against the hand that he placed on the back of her neck. The soothing deep timbre of his voice helped as well. It took nearly five minutes, but it was soon under control.

"I don't think I can face gim, Tank," came her small voice.

"You are the _strongest_ person I know. You can do this."

He watched her sit up stright and steel herself. She took a deep breath and nodded. "Let's do this. This is to save his life."

He took her hand again and they walked back in, ready to go. This was to save their friend. They could do this together.

They drove her SUV to Philly, Hector rode with them. Cal drove his own vehicle as did the others. They would be staying at a small hotel, with thexception of the Rangemen. They would continue on to Trenton to act like business as usual. Tank and Steph went out for dinner before retiring to their room for the night. Tomorrow would come soon enough for all of them.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N not mine. I own nothing but the plot.

What the Heart Wants

They began their trek to Rangeman at 6am, the takedown would happen at 8, during the morning meeting. The tension in the vehicles filled the air. They were walking into a hot mess and they all knew it. They gathered at a small diner just outside of Trenton, she couldn't bring herself to eat anything. She only ordered a small glass of orange juice and a coffee. Tank, Hector, and Cal did them same.

They weren't ready, but they had to be. Tank placed a soothing hand on her back and she leaned into his side. She took comfort from knowing that he would have her back. Lester already had a plan in place to sneak them inside the building and into the tech room. They would enter through the little used back door while the camera was placed on a short loop. The tech room was immediately inside the back door. They had exactly three minutes to get in the room and the door shut securely.

They were on the road again, Tank received a text from Bobby saying that Ranger and Holly were on site, and she would be in the meeting as planned. Everything was a go. She could feel the adrenalin pumping through her body. She was in fight or flight mode; the closer they got the more she had to tamp down the instinct to run. The only thing that kept her moving towards the goal was the fact that even if he hated her for this, she was doing this to save his life.

Things moved quickly when they arrived behind office building that was three down from Rangeman. A quick text to Lester and the countdown to their three minute window began. Tank grabbed Stephanie's hand as they raced down the alley and into the doors. Hector quickly set up the audio visuals to the conference room. They could see and hear everything going on in the room. They also could see that the FBI agents were in the front lobby, being met by Woody as planned. He called the monitoring station and gave them the stand down order as he brought them up.

She could see Lester and Bobby in the meeting as they discussed what was on the agenda for the day. It all felt surreal to her. She held her breath and spoke into her com unit when they were at the door to the conference room, "It's Holly Jones. She is in a pink sweater and black slacks. Her back is to the door on Rangers right at the head of the table."

She watched as they moved in and grabbed her. Ranger stood demanding and answer as they disarmed her. The agents lead her from the room in cuffs as she screamed at all of them. Ranger sat down in his chair with his blank face as agent Michaels tried to explain what was going on, he finally stopped and asked for them all over the unit. This was the moment they had all been dreading, confronting Ranger.

Tank took hold of her left hand and Hector her right, the agents assigned to them walked them upsatirs to the room. When they walked in a flash of betrayal went through Ranger's eyes.

"I should have known," Ranger growled. "You couldn't let me be happy, could you Stephanie? You're nothing but a spiteful, miserable person. You couldn't stand that I was moving on."

She answered in a voice thick with emotion, "you can hate me all you want. We are only trying to save your life."

"I'm supposed to believe that?"

"That's up to you, brother. I've always had your six, and I'm part of the team that was brought here to remove her, to keep you safe," Tank explained.

Ranger looked as though he finally noticed Tank Hector and Cal. They could feel the anger radiating off of him, all directed at her. His eyes bore holes into her and his was looked like it was ready to spring into action against an enemy.

"If any of you would like to tell me what the hell is going on, she needs to be removed from my presence, " Ranger said with a nod in her direction.

Lester stood and placed a hand on the small of her back. She didn't even notice that he had guided her up to Ella and Louis' apartment. She soon bad a cup of tea in her hands, but couldn't stop shaking. Ella and Louis sat on either side of her as they waited for someone to retrieve her so that they could leave. So that she could return to her new life. When she finished ber drink, Ella pulled her close and began to whisper about how sorry she was that she had abandoned her.

"You know, Ella, I use to tease Ranger and ask him if you would adopt me. Then, just like my real family, you wanted nothing to do with me. I understand why you did it, I just never expected to lose everyone at once. This is the last time I'll ever step foot in Trenton or in anything having to do with Ranger. I just want you to know that I've loved you like a child loves their mother and I always will."

She pulled away from Ella and stood, she pulled an envelope from her pocket and placed it on the counter. It contained the information as to where their son, his wife, and children were. Tank was there enterung the apartment just as she put it down. He looked at her and gave her a gentle smile.

They left through the front door this time. She looked at the faces of the men she had come to live and respect over the years. They had protected her and she couldn't help but feel that they hated her, even if what she had done was to save one of their own.

"After we debriefing let's head home," Tank suggested ince they were all in the SUV. "We'll drop Cal and Hector off in Philly and just go home. Then you can call Jen and talk with her tonight."

She nooded her agreement and heard Hector and Cal agree as well. She could hear that they were just as emotionally spent as she was and it hurt. She could feel the blame rolling off them as well. It broke her a little more, and there wasn't much left before she would completely shatter.

The debrief was quick and she was informed that she would have to testify in court. She only nodded her understanding. She was numb as she recounted the events leading up to today and everything that had occured during the takedown as well. She had the feeling that it wouldn't be long until she heard from Ranger or incurred his anger. She would deal with that when it comes.

She and Tank were soon on the road back to Maryland. As they got closer she called Jen who would meet them at her apartment. Steph was not in a good place and she needed to talk to both of them to work through it.

A/N I will be posting weekly again starting next Wednesday. Thank you for all the reviews! you all rock!


	18. Chapter 18

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

 _ **Thank you for all the reviews! They mean so much to me. I'm still in shock with how many there are closing in on 400. I don't think that any of my stories have ever reach that, or even this close. You are all amazing!**_

What The Heart Wants

Jen was waiting for them just as they pulled up to their building. As soon as Stephanie stepped out of the SUV and saw her, she lost it. Every peny up emotion came to the surface. Her anger, her pain, her joy, and her sorrow all came crashing down around her. She collapsed on the sidewalk into and emotional heap. Tank scooped her up and carried her upstairs and gently placed her on the couch. He tipped his head towards the kitchen to signal that Jen should follow him.

He started a pot of coffee as soon as they were in there. It was a way for him to gather his thoughts, so that he could at least give her a little bit of info about what happened today. He knew that he wouldn't sleep tonight. He needed to keep an eye on Stephanie. She was finally breaking under the emotional toll that had been brought into her life. He set out the sugar and creamer for Jen and eventually Steph. Grabbing three mugs, he filled up two and passed one to Jen. She gave him an odd look as she took her cup and began fixing it the way she liked.

"You take care of her," she stated. It wasn't a question, just a fact.

He shrugged before saying, "I always have, and always will."

"Does she know that you're in love with her?"

"No, and she doesn't need me adding to her emotional state right now."

"Are you ever going to tell her?"

"Probably not," he said softly. "She doesn't need someone like me in her life. She had that once and look at how that turned out."

"Would you cheat on her or mislead her?"

" _Never_ ," he hissed.

"Then I think you are exactly what she needs, but you're right in not telling her right now. She needs unconditional love and support from the few people she considers friends right now. She's in a deep dark hole right now, and needs help crawling out of it."

He nodded his understanding just as Stephanie walked unto the kitchen with red rimmed eyes. Tank made her a cup of coffee just the way she liked it and handed it to her. She took a sip and closed her eyes, relishing in the moment of calm before she had to talk with Jen. She opened her eyes and watched Tank get ready to leave the room.

"Tank?" Stephanie asked and he paused.

"Yeah, Steph?"

"Will you stay while I talk to Jen?"

"If that's what you need, of course."

She sighed in relief as he took a seat at the table next to her. She scooted her chair closer to his and leand in to whisper her thanks. He took her hand and places it on his leg, giving it a small squeeze. She seemed to garner strength from his presence. She turned to Jen expectantly waiting on her to begin.

"Steph, let's start with what happened today when you got to Rangeman," Jen encouraged.

Stephanie took a deep breath and told her exactly what went on today. She had to stop when she told he about Ranger said to her. It hurt her to tell someone what he said, but not nearly as badly as when she told her about Ella and Louis. The two people she thought of as surrogate parents.

"...I feel as though the only person I have left that gives a damn about me is Tank. If you had been in that car back to Philly, you would understand why. Cal and Hector wouldn't even look at me. I'm not even sure Tank would still be here if he didn't have to be."

Tank placed an arm around her shpulders and pulled her close. Placing a kiss on her curls he said, "I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me. As for Cal and Hector, it wasn't you they were mad at, it was Ranger."

She only nodded in return.

"Can you tell me why your family cut ties with you?" Jen asked.

Stephanie sucked in a deep breath. She had known that this moment would be coming, but she didn't expect it to be tonight. She started to shake hard into Tanks side. He placed his other arm around her waist and softly told her that she could do this. She took a few more moments to compose herself.

"It was a gradual thing. At first my Mom wouldn't speak with me except to keep up appearances. That was after I informed her that I wouldn't marry Joe Morelli, who had not only been cheating on my, but began to hit me. We were turning each other into people we didn't want to be and Joe and I recognized that and parted ways.

"When I told them that I was pregnant and not marrying that father, that's when the shit hit the fan. Even Daddy got mad and he threw me out of his house. Grandma Mazur and I still kept in touch, meeting for lunch when we could. Then Grandma died. I wasn't even allowed at her funeral. She had died in her bed, but she wasn't alone. She had a gentleman caller with her. Somehow that was my fault as well.

"My mom called me to yell at me about it. She said that if I hadn't encouraged her, she would still be alive. I was to stay the hell away from her and her family. Two days after the funeral I found out about Ranger and Holly and that's when I lost the baby. It was like everything came crashing down on me that week. Slowly the guys that I had come to depend on had become to busy to even acknowledge me in passing."

Tank pressed a kiss to her forehead, stood up, and left the room. She gave Jen a hopeless look the burst into a fresh round of tears. Laying her head on the table she cried with a shattered heart. Jen tried to calm her down, but it wasn't any use. She went to find Tank, if they didn't get her calmed down soon chances were that she would need sedated and admitted to the hospital. Jen found him in the living room and told him what was happening. He practically ran back to the kitchen and picked her up. He sat down in the living room on the couch with her. Steph's tears soon calmed into hiccups as he spoke soothingly to her.

"I'm sorry, Little Girl. I just didn't want you to see how mad I am at your parents and myself."

She still couldn't quite talk, so she nodded her understanding. She burried her head under his chin and into his neck while clinging to his shirt.

"Steph, I left a notebook and pen on the table for you. I would like you to take a few minutes at the end of each day and write about how you're feeling. You don't need to start it tonight, and you don't ever have to show it to anyone. I'm hoping that this will help stave off any futher breakdowns." Jen watched Steph nod before continuing, "I'm going to head home for the night. I'll see you tomorrow around noon."

Tank and Stephanie both waved to her as she left. Tank stood up with her in his arms and made his way to her en suite bathroom. He sat her down on the closed toilet lid. He began running water and setting the jets in the large garden tub. He poured lavender bathsalts into the water, hoping that it would works it's magic and help relax her. She watched him curiously as he prepared the bath. She never had someone take this much care of her, at least that she could remember. He helped her undress which had her turn bright red. Once she was in the water he turned to leave, but she stopped him with a small voice.

"Stay?"

"Okay," he replied quietly.

"Tub is big enough, you can join me..."


	19. Chapter 19

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

What the Heart Wants

"Stephanie," he began with a sigh, "that's not a good idea. I'll stay here with you, but me getting in that tub with you right now is bad thing."

"Why?"

"Because, you're not in a good head space right now. You're emotional and hurting. If I get into that bath with you I may not be able to control myself and we'll do something we'll both regret."

She looked heartbroken at his words, but agreed with his wisdom. They would regret it if anything happened. That didn't mean that the rejection didn't hurt. She had been feeling rejected all day, for most of her life; if she was being honest. The world was just weighing heavy on her shoulders now. The one persons who happiness she vowed to protect was the person she had betrayed the most. He may not see it anytime soon, but she had saved his life today and he'll forgive her...someday.

"Okay, Tank. I get it. You don't have to stay in here with me either. I think I just need some time alone to figure things out," she told him morosely.

"No, Steph," he said vehemently. "I'm going to sit over here and be your sounding board. You have a lot of pent up crap hanging around in your head. I want to help you through it."

She pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head down on them. She nodded as fresh tears began to make tracks down her face. They sat in complete silence as she worked things out. Tank watched her closely and could see the emotions flit across her face as she relived the day in her mind.

"Talk to me Steph. What's running through that head of yours?"

"I gave up on a romantic relationship with Ranger when he met Holly. That's wrong, I gave up on a lot of things when he met Holly. Including the possibility of ever having a future with someone, or unconditional love. Today, after seeing Ella and Louis, it physically hurt to leave them. I shouldn't let things like people pulling away from me hurt, but each time it kills me little more. I never had someone love me for who I am, and with them it hit a little closer to home.

"I thought I had that from them, but in truth they were just like the rest of you guys from Rangeman. I mean, I understood where you loyalties belonged. I knew when push came to shove that I would always be on the the outside looking in. I just never let it fully sink in that I should have walked away a long time ago, but I thought I had found a family at Rangeman or at the very least friends. When everyone walked away I realized that I had been so wrong."

Tank sat there confused by what she just told him. "Stephanie," he whispered, "I'm still here."

She laughed wryly, "but how long until you walk away again? How long until you try to change me at my core?"

"I learned from my mistake, and walking away from you was my biggest."

"I just can't believe that, Tank. My Daddy even walked away from me because I'm nothing but an embarrassment to the family. I was Daddy's girl, but when I told them I was pregnant he informed me that I was a disappointment to him and no longer his daughter. The look on my Mom's and Valerie's faces were the most sadistic I had ever seen. They took pleasure in the fact that he was hurting me. He never said anything like that to Val when she was pregnant with Angie or Lisa and she wasn't even engaged when she found out she was pregnant with either of those pregnancies.

"Then a week later Ranger tells me how he met the one, and I lose my baby. I shouldn't have told them, or I should have told Ranger before I told them. Probably wouldn't have changed the outcome of anything, but at least I would habe known that I tried."

"Steph, I'm not sure how to convince you that I plan on sticking around."

"Nothing you can do. I'm going to get dried off and dressed. Can you go make some hot tea? I just want to have a warm drink and get some sleep."

He nodded and left her alone to finish up. She waited until the door closed behind her before she let the tears fall again. She took a deep shuttering breath and let it out. She needed a moment to collect herself in private. While drying herself off she realized what Tank had said earlier. What had he meant by he wouldn't be able to crontrol himself? Was he attracted to her? It was possible, but like most men he probably only wanted her body not what was inside. No one wanted her for who she was and she didn't know how to be anyone else.

Once she was wrapped in up in her robe with a towel on her head she found Tank in the living room with two steaming cups of tea. He patted the seat on the sofa next to him. She internally sighed and sat next to him. This was something she had been trying to avoid. The talk. This is where he would tell her that he doesn't do relationships, or how they could never really be friends.

"Steph," he began, "promise that you'll listen to everything I have to say before you respond."

"I promise," she replied solemnly. She knew what was likey to come and in the intrest of protecting herself she would remain quiet.

"I was put in the foster system when I was only a few days old. My birth mother was a drug addict and I have no idea who my birth father was. She abandoned me at the hospital when she was released after my birth. I hope it was her way of protecting me, but it was most likey to get score her next fix.

"I was shuffled from foster home to foster home for the next seventeen years, until I graduated high school. I was smart enough to realize that if I didn't want to end up like most of my friends I needed to do well in school. I managed to graduate a year early and immediately signed up for the Navy. I went to basic the same day I turned eighteen. I was the youngest in my class. I was also at my full height and scrawny. I weighed about a buck eighty and at six foot seven that's nowhere near enough. I began to bulk up as I sailed through basic and was tapped for seal training. Morelli and I were in the same training class, he fell out the third week and managed to continue on to become a SEAL. It was during a joint operation that I met Lester, he introduced me to Bobby and their CO. Their CO convinced me to make a try for the Rangers." He noted the confused look on her face when he paused.

"You don't have to be ARMY to be a Ranger, they come from the best from each section of the military. It was there that I met Ranger. He gave me the nickname Tank; he said Pierre was to soft for someone my size. We complemented each others strenghths and weaknesses in the field. He became my brother in arms. When we started Rangeman that dynamic continued, it all changed when he brought you into our world.

"You accepted each of us and I think that you were the first woman that didn't either run when you saw me or want in my pants thinking that I was big everywhere. It's true, but I didn't use that to my advantage like Santos would have," he said with a chuckle.

"You treated us each with respect and we didn't truly return that repect to you like we should have. I'm sorry for that. When Ranger pulled back from you, we took our cue from him. He was for all intents and purposes our commanding officer. He lead, and lime the proverbial sheep, we followed. We, no I, did you a serious disservice by doing that. I wanted nothing more than to come to you and save you from the pain Ranger was inflicting on you.

"Then you found my sister for me, as I'm sure you figured out she's my twin sister. We were luky enough to have grown up in the same foster homes. I knew that I didn't want anyone to ever treat her the way you had been treated, now that's not saying that I think of you as my sister. Right now I would say that we are friends, but eventually I'd like to become more. I want you to be in a good place mentally first. I want us to both be in a good place to have a relationship. I still have some issues that I need to work on, including the herd mentally that I had gotten so use to in my life.

"I don't want you to think that I am walking away from you, but I want you to know that I would like to build up to more. If that's something you would be willing to work towards?"

He could tell that she was working towards a full out Rhino mode when she seemed to reel it back in and control it. He watched as the emotions ran rampant in her eyes.

"Let me guess, someday?" she said snidely.

"What are you talking about?"

"Did Ranger put you up to this? Did he tell you to promise me 'someday we could have a relationship ' so that I would hang on to you instead, now?"

"I have no clue what you're talking about," he said in confusion.

"Oh," she said wide eyed as she came to realize that he had no idea what he meant. "It's something Ranger use to tell me, but you really have no idea. You're really asking me for this?"

"I am."

 _ **A/N I am sorry for the delay in this post. I was having some technical difficulties. Thank you again for all of your reviews. They mean the world to me. I do try to reply to them, but every now and then I seem to find some issues replying via my phone.**_

 _ **I'll try and make it up to you with an extra chapter between now and my next regulary scheduled posting on Wednesday.**_


	20. Chapter 20

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot

What The Heart Wants

She sat there mulling over his words. The fact that he alluded to someday had thrown her for a loop. When she realized that he hadn't known about the promise of 'someday' from Ranger rattled her a bit more. She tossed and turned all night, the phrase 'I am' continued to run through her head. She quelled it over and over; wondering what he could possibly mean by those two words.

It was nearing six in the morning when she finally gave up and decided to get up. Looking in the bathroom mirror she groaned when she saw the deep purple bags under her eyes. The last twenty four hours had caught up with her. She grabbed her notebook and pen as she made her way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. She made a decision during her sleepless night; she was going to start writing down her oent up emotions. She was going to work on herself, so that when she was ready she could find that elusive someday.

Setting at the table with pen, paper, and a very large and heavily doctored coffe in front of her she set to work. She didn't even notice the imposing figure standing in the doorway watching over her. She didn't know that this was what he needed to start working through his own problems with his mental health. She was willing to put in the work for the possibility of a future with him, so he knew that he needed to as well. Unfortunately, they needed to debrief with the feds in an hour so he would have to disturb her process and delay his own. He also knew that he would have to have a conversation about what happened after she went to Ella's apartment yesterday. It was entirely possible that it would break her completely. He could only pray that it could wait until this evening at the minimum.

"Good morning, Little Girl," he called out as he made his way further into the kitchen. He laughed a bit when she nearly jumped out of her seat.

"How a man your size can walk into a room without a sound is beyond me," she grumbled under her breath.

"Years of practice," he replied good naturedly as he ruffled her curls.

He fixed himself a cup of coffee and started to toast two begals for them to have for breakfast. Judging from the state of the kirchen, she hadn't eaten yet. He went about getting a simple meal ready for the two of the as he observed her behavior. She seemed lost in her own world, chewing on her bottom lip. He could tell that she was trying to sort her emotions out, because the flitted across her face as she thought about each one. The most prominent being pain. He wanted to pull her close and take it all away for her; to protect her from all the hurt she had ever felt. He also knew that she wouldn't be who she was if she hadn't experienced everything she did.

Clearing his throat he caught her attention and silently handed her a plate. She thanked him and took a few bites before she was distracted again.

A few minutes later she looked him right in the eyes and blew his mind with what she asked. "Do you think I'm a screw up?"

"No. Why would you ask that?"

"All of my life I've messed things up. Even simple things," she paused for moment. "The only person who ever said they were proud of me was Ranger, and now even he hates me too."

"I'm proud of you Steph, your grandma was proud of you, all of your friends are."

"See, that's the thing. I don't really have any friends. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I never did."

"You have me, the guys at Rangeman, and the new people you work with. Pluse don't we have that dinner thing tomorrow where you'll get to meet new friends as well?"

"Weren't you the one who said that I needed to change for you to consider having a relationship with me?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant that we both need to be mentally and emotionally heathly before trying one. "

She seemed to think about what he had just told her when her phone rang. It seemed to surprise both of them. She never gets phone calls this early in the morning. She answered it cautiously and seemed to fold into herself as the person on the other end ranted away. He saw when she snapped. She took a deep breath and calmly hung up her phone.

"I need to change my number. Somehow Helen Plum got ahold of my number. I never want to speak to her again. It's not right for someone to constantly berate another person," she told him with a tight voice.

"It'll have to wait until after our meeting with the feds. We need to be downstairs in the office in thirty minutes."

The morning went by quickly from that point. They were both exhausted by the time it was all said and done. Mike reminded them of their dinner plans for tomorrow night, before sending them off for the rest of the weekend. Jen was waiting on Steph when they got out of the meeting and she took Steph for lunch and a session, leaving him to his own devices.

He placed a call to Bobby at Rangeman. He needed to know how Ranger was doing, because despite everything, they were once friends. He also needed a list of government approved therapists near him. It had to be someone with the clearence to discuss his missions and deployments with. It was time to take care of himself for once.

"Yeah," Bobby's voice answered.

"Hey, Bob. How's it going in there?"

"All hell has broken loose and I had to sedate Ranger before he caused some serious damage. It took four hours, blood work and a physical exam of Holly for him to accept the fact that she's not pregnant. Hell, the fact that she can never even get pregnant," he stopped for a beat before asking, "How's Steph?"

"She's seeing her counselor right now, but she's doing surprisingly well. She had to change her phone number, somehow her mother found out what the last one was and called her this morning."

"We'll call you when we need to talk to her. I'm afraid the leak may have come from here. I heard rumblings of that this morning. I can tell you that it has been contained, but I don't want it to happen again," Bobby told the shocked Tank.

"Let me know how it goes on that front. That's only part of why I called today. I need the contact info of a therapist cleared to talk with me here in Baltimore. It's time I put my demons to rest."

"Give me an hour and I'll text you the information."

"Thanks Bobby."

"Anytime, man, anytime."

Hanging up he decided to eat a light lunch and get his workout in as a way to kill time until Steph got back. The talk they needed to have may have changed a little bit for the better now that Ranger knows the truth, but it won't affect much. He was just coming out of the bathroom when Steph walked through the front door. She had a full smile on her face as she walked in the door. One look at his grim face and the smile dropped. She knew bad knews was coming her way.

"What happened? Did he hurt one of the guys?"

"No, but we need to talk about what happened after you left the confrence room yesterday."

"Did he threaten me in some way?"

"Only if you show up in Trenton, although that may have changed. After a lot of tests he knows the truth and that we were only protecting him."

"Well, since I plan on never stepping foot back in that damn town again, it's safe to say that I have no worries. He is part of ny past and I can't change that. What I can change is how I respond to his behavior. We'll call Mike and find out what I need to get a restraining order. He can't bully me any longer."

She kissed his cheek and went back to her bedroom to change clothes. She wouldn't live in denial any longer. Her entire life jad been built around it as a copping mechanism and thinhs needed to change. Tank knew she was strong enough and ready to make those changes. Look out world Stephanie Plum is back and will be better than ever.

A/N Thank you for all the reviews! They mean so much to me. We have a family emergency happening right now so I can't promise to have next weeks update out on time, or nearly. I will post as soon as I can. Thank you.

Lynda


	21. Chapter 21

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

What The Heart Wants

They sat together on the couch after dinner, he knew it was time to tell he exactly what went on in the room when she left. He wasn't really ready, but she needed all the information. She needed to make her decision based on all of the information. As much as it pained him to do this, he didn't want to keep the potential threat from her knowledge.

He took her hand and looked directly into her eyes as he began to speak. "To say Ranger was upset, is incorrect. I have never seen him as mad as he was in that room."

 _flashback_

 _Tank turned to Ranger once the door shut behind Stephanie. He was grateful for the others being in the room, otherwise he may not survive this encounter. Ranger zeroed in on him right away. He stood his groud, waiting for a fist or words; unsure of what would come first. The beast that he had seen so many times on the battlefield was now directed at him. The stare off continued for ten minutes._

 _Ranger finally recognized that the man in front of him would not back down. He let out a low growl and began to speak in a low tone. "I do not want that traitor in my building, in my city, or in my life. If Holly looses our child because of that woman's jealousy, her life will be forefit."_

 _"When are you going to get a clue? That woman saved your life. Holly is the traitor, and she was going to kill you just the the ones before you._

 _"Holly is not pregnant and I doubt that she has ever been. She is a black widow killer. A serial murderer who has killed at least half a dozen wealthy men. You need to gather your intel before you make accusations against Stephanie or any other member of this task force. Get your head out of your ass Manoso and learn the facts. Stephanie would gibe her life for yours. It's always been that way."_

 _"How dare you come into my business and lie to me!" Ranger growled just before he threw a punch._

 _Cal and Hector were quick to restrain him._

 _"You forget that I own part of this company as well. One day you'll regret everything you've said to me and Stephanie. One day you'll wake the fuck up and know that you've lost everything."_

 _"Get her the hell out of my building. I mean it! If she even breathes in my direction I will do the world a favor and end her."_

 _They were able to sedate Ranger so that they could leave the office safely. The knowledge that he could retaliate had them running to get out quickly._

 _end flashback_

Stephanie sat there stunned and more than a little afraid. She knew enough about Ranger to know that he didn't make idle threats. He made promises. She began to wring her hands together, it was a nervous habit she had since childhood. What eould happen if their cases crossed paths? What if they had to be in DC or Baltimore at the same time? The feds had made a point of telling her that they would be asking for her assistance on a case by case need in the future. They had heard about her long ago. She knew that both Ranger and Morelli did occasional work for them as well. Morrelli was gearing up to work for them full time, last she had been told.

Tank placed his hand on hers to still them. When she looked up she could see the promise in his eyes. A promise that he would protect her from Ranger and anything else that could become volatile. She let out a sob and curled into his chest. He could feel her heartbreaking as he held her close. The fear that flowed through her body was real. Until Ranger came to his sense Tank knew that these emotions would be underlying in her at all times. This kind of stress could cause serious physical problems, not just mental. The likely hood of a complete breakdown was approaching fast.

He picked her up and carried her to her bed. He crawled in next to her and held her until her breathing evened out into a deep sleep. He gently extracted himself from her firm grip. He had a few calls to make.

Shutting himself in his room, he grabbed his cell phone and dialed a familiar number. Three rings and they answered on the other end.

"Hello?" a female voice answered sleepily.

"This is Tank, can I speak with Lester?"

He heard a muffled grumbling on the other end before Santos picked up. "This better be good Tank. I haven't had much sleep and I feel like a bear with a sore paw that's constipated and needs to take a shit."

"That's a colorful descriptions and more than I needed to know."

"Shut up Tank and tell me what you need."

"I want a sit rep on Ranger. Steph is about to breakdown completely."

"He's in DC. He was given all the intel on Holly that we currently have. As you know he was briefed on her physical condition, including on her inability to have children.

"She has been tied to seven murders at this point with at least four more potentials. Ranger is having a hard time grasping the facts even though they are right in front of him. I think he's got a shit ton of guilt that he's dealing with at this point. I can only be thankful that he's not under contract anymore; otherwise he would take a suicide mission."

"What are we looking at from a Rangeman standpoint?"

"We are on standby, I'm in charge until he can be mentally cleared to come back. I'm worried that it may not happen though. He's refusing to even acknowledge Julie at this point. He's in hunter mode and it's frightening to know."

" Ten four Lester. I'll talk to Cal and Hector, between the three of us we should be able to keep her safe until he gets back into the right frame of mind."

They hung up with they usual click. They never used goodbye. That was something they reserved for their fallen friends. He settled fown for the night after speaking with Cal and Hector. He would speak with Mike and Jen at some point during dinner.

Waking up the next morning they set about their day and confirmed that they should be at Mike's home around three. Hector and Cal showed up at the door around one so that they could go over the need for a protective detail on her. It didn't take much to comvice her of the need which was a true testament to the fear she felt. They spent the next hour until they had to leave talking about lighter subjects.

A/N HEAR YE! HEAR YE! IMOPRTANT ANNOUCEMENT!

Yes, this is an extra post. Yes, there is a reason for it. I will be able to do the regular post this week as well. The family emergency was sad, but my Father in law has gained his angel wings. Thank you for all of your thoughts and well wishes.

Onto an exciting announcement. It's that time of year again. THE FANFICTION TAKEOVER EVENT IS HAPPENING FEBRUARY 23-25TH ON FACEBOOK! It's the third year in a row for it and I'll be hosting again. I hope we'll see you there. If you want to take part please send me a PM.

Lynda


	22. Chapter 22

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

 **I've had a particular Halestorm song rattling around my brain while I wrote this one. I was originally going to use it for a one shot, but it fit better here. If you want to check it our, you can pull it up on Youtube (I love that thing). The song is called Here's to us. On a side note, I love Halestorm. I was one of the lucky people who got to watch Lizzy and Arejay preform in the bars with their Dad while they were very much under age.**

What the Heart Wants

They all arrived at Mike and Jen's home right on time. Stephanie noticed that they must have a sound system running through the enitre house, because while they could hear the music it wasn't over powering and could be heard in every room. Jen greeted them and pulled Steph to the side for a quick chat. The guys went in search of Mike and a Yingling.

Tank was just opening his bottle when Steph walked into the kitchen. She gave him a small smile as she grabbed a water from the fridge. He wanted to give her some was stressed enough without the complication of him being added in. The past few days have been stressful enough for all of them. Tank could hear Mike, Cal, and Hector making their way into the kitchen, laughing loudly. Jen was following close on their heels.

"Steph, why don't you grab a beer and relax? We'll make sure everyone gets home safely tonight," Mike offered.

"I'll have one with dinner. It's been a rough few days and I don't think alcohol is a good idea in copious amounts right now. We'll do this again and then I'll drink with everyone."

Mike and Jen nodded. The others just gave her a strange look. They had seen her stressed in the past and she would either indulge in alcohol or in sweets. Tank knew for a fact that she had not once indulged in either. That in itself worried him more than anything. He was trying to figure out what her outlet was at this point. It she didn't have one, she may break even faster. She has been through hell and back; they all have. Tank has been part of it on the battlegrounds of war. Stephanie's entire life has been war.

Tank shook his head clear of thoughts of war when he head the clear bell like sound of her laughter. He looked over and saw the most beautiful sight he had ever witnessed. Steph had her head tossed back, curls hanging down her back and her arms supporting her stomach as she laughed. This moment made him rethink things, maybe she would be alright after could still see the wonderful woman he met years ago, she was just hiding in there.

He had already spoken with Mike about her security detail and the man understood and offered to have a few guys he trusted as well to be on rotation. Jen called them all into the dining room to eat and he placed his hand low on Stephanie's back to guide her. She looked up at him and gave him a signature smile. He couldn't hold back his own grin.

"Shall we join them?" she asked him.

"Absolutely, " he replied. He wanted to lean down and kiss her, but knew that it would have to wait. They both needed to get better before they could commit to each other. They needed to get to know each other before they could truly love each other.

When they entered the dining room everyone looked up and had smiles as well. This was something they all needed. A night to relax. Platters were passed around and everyone served themselves. Laughter surrounded them and eased the tension of the last few days. After their meal they went to the finished basement to relax and play a friendly game of pool.

Steph sat back and waited to scope out the different strategies of each player first. She was about to school them on how to play and they didn't even know it yet. She took in Mike first and only beat him by one managed to jold back a laugh as she did used the same strategy until Tank finally stepped up.

"Ready to lose Little Girl?" he challanged.

"Bring it Big Guy," she smirked. "I'll even let you break."

"Let's make this interesting. If I win I get to pick out entirely vegan meals for a week."

"And if I win?"

"Whatever you want."

"You may regret that Tank."

"Nope. You in?"

She nodded and racked the balls for him. She watched as he broke them with a good back spin on the cue ball. He managed to sink a single solid. The game quickly became intense, but Steph was still holding back. It soon became clear that she was better than expected and was down to the eight ball. Calling her shot she moved in to take it. She began muttering under her breath and Cal asked her what she was saying.

She sang the line that she was muttering, from a song that was quickly becoming her theme song," _**'Cause the last few nights have kicked my ass...If they give ya hell, tell 'em to go fuck themselves...Here's to us. Here's to us.**_ "

Cal reconized the song immediately, it was from a banf that was from the area he lived in. He had seen them play a few times before they made it big. The Tourist Inn wasn't exactly a safe bar, but everyone behaves themselfs when the underage band Halestorm came on stage. Cal began to sing with her and she sank the eight ball at the same time.

"Looks like I win Tank. I'll tell you my prize later," she said with a smirk. He just quirked an eyebrow. He hadn't exepcted her to win and he was slightly afraid of what she would want.

"Hey, Cal?"

"Yeah, Steph."

"You know Halestorm?"

"Of course. I live in York County and you have to live under a rock and not know of them or Live. They both come from that area, why?"

"Awesome band. Rose in December and Here's to Us are my favorites of theirs."

"I am the Fire and the cover of Close My Eyes Forever with David Draiman for me."

"I'll have to listen to that one. I haven't listen to that cover yet. I always thought only Ozzy and Leita could do justice to that one."

The others seemed to be lost over their conversation when Tank spoke up, "Who is Halestorm?"

"A great band," replied Steph. "I have a CD at home. I'll play it for you sometime."

Tank noticed the time was getting near ten and they started to gather there belongings and say their goodnights. Hector was riding back with them and Cal was staying the night instead of driving the forty five minutes home.

Once at home Hector kissed Stephanie's curls and said goodnight before heading into his apartment. Tank and Steph walked into hers.

"So, umm, Steph what is it that you want as your prize?"

"A date."

"What?"

"I want an honest to goodness real date, when we are both ready. I haven't had one since college."

"Ranger took you out," he supplied.

"Those were all for jobs. The last actual date I had was when the Dick proposed to me. If you don't want to I understand. I'm not exactly the take out in public kind of girl. I seem to be an embarrassment."

"I would be honored to take you out. I was just surprised that you haven't actually had one since then," he paused, "and you're not an embarrassment. "

She just looked at him and grinned.

 **A/N all the songs mentioned are real and some of my favorites. We'll find out more as to what is going on with Ranger soon. Stephanie needed a good day and to tell the world to go fuck themselves.**

 **Also, not to far from 500 reviews. The five hundredth review will get a one shot of their choice, must be logged in when reviewing if you are number 500 to get it. That particular one shot will be my 100th story and or one shot here on FF.**


	23. Chapter 23

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

Apologies for this one being late, nothing to say but two words...Stomach flu. Oh, and then I had a surprise trip to see Kid Rock in Concert, complete with a Stephanie Plum moment.

What The Heart Wants

The next morning found Stephanie in her office. She wasn't surprised to find that she had a large stack of searches on her desk. She let out a sigh and dug into her pile, scanning for priorities. She separated them into categories and discovered a surprisingly large number of federal searches. Slightly confused she went to find Mike in his office.

She knocked on his closed door and waited for him to call her in. While she waited she heard another voice as he told her to enter.

"Stephanie, just the person I was planning to come talk to. Great minds and all that," he stated with a chuckle. "I want you to meet Marco Salaman. He's with the FBI and had a few requests that I placed on your desk."

"Uhh, that's what I came to talk to you about. Do I even have clearance to look at these things?"

The man that was introduced as Marco stepped forward with a hand out to shake hers. As she took his had he said, "You have been given a special dispensation to handle certain searches for us. We've been watching you and your career as a bountyhunter for years."

"That's not creepy, at all."

He laughed and spoke again, "you have the number one capture rate in the business, and you've helped others bring their rate up. You came to our attention when you brought in and cleared Joseph Morelli of murder. You certainly caught our attention with Vlatko.

"Ms. Plum, you have an amazing gift to know and find those who've been deep in hiding. I understand that you even found Mr. Manosos' safe house when Rangeman was quarantined. We couldn't even locate it. You were very recently recommended to us by someone who we haven't heard from in years. They said that if you couldn't find these people, then they were most likely dead."

"I am a disaster!" she exclaimed. "Who would give you a good recommendation about me? I really don't know of anyone in my life that would."

He looked at his paper and his eyes widened slightly before replying, "you wouldn't happen to be related to a Frank Plum, would you?"

"My father! Last time I saw him, he told me to leave and never come back. He told me that I was a disappointment. What do you mean, you haven't heard from him in years?"

"No not him, Frank Plum senior."

"Grandpa? He died when I was a little girl, about when I was 2 I think."

"No, he didn't. He went into protective custody after a case gone bad. He has been out of custody for about 6 years and in Trenton, but did not interact with your family. Apparently, your parents didn't like his line of work. He called us Friday evening, well more specifically he called the director. He's still pretty spry for a 76 year old man. He wants to come meet you for lunch this week. He has a place here in Baltimore, so he'll stay there while he's in town. He also infromed me to let you know to bring your friend Tank."

She sat there with her mouth hanging open in shock over the news she had just been given. She still had family that wanted her. Someone who may love her unconditionally. A chance to have someone be proud of the good things she has done in life. Of course the man is a Plum, which means he could be like the rest of her family, other than her Grandma Mazur.

Shaking her head she asked, "what all will you want me to do? Will it interfere with my job here? This is my first priority. "

"We understand that, Ms. Plum. Once in awhile we may send you a top priority case, and you can work on the others as you have the time. We just ask that you keep a running log of the time you spend on each one so that you can be compensated correctly.

"We have also secured your laptop so that you can use our servers without worry. You may also use them for your work here free of charge. The ones we've left for you already are of public record, so nothing needs special clearance yet. We have a contract here for you to read over. Once you've finished with what we've already given you, and you decide you like the work, you can sign the contract to work with us on a per diem basis."

"So, I have the opportunity to try it out first then if I decide it's something I want to do I can sign fir when you need me?"

"Yes."

"Well, let's give it a try then," she happily stated.

They shook hands and the agent gave her his card to call him when she makes her decision. Walking back to her office her cell phone rang. She instantly recognized the Trenton area code. Sighing she answered the phone.

"This is Stephanie, " she answered cautiously.

"Curly top? Is that you?" came the vibrant voice from the other end.

"Pappaw?" she softly queried.

"Little one, it is so good to hear your voice!" he boomed.

"Pappaw, I am so glad to hear from you. You have no idea how much it means to me."

"Listen, I'll be in Maryland next week. Would you and Tank like to meet up for dinner?"

"You tell me the time and llace, and well be there."

"Good, good, Curly top. Tell Tank that Panther said he has to be there, it's an order."

"I will Grandpa."

"I love you, Stephanie. I'll send you a text about next week from this number. It's a secure cell phone."

"I love you too. Bye Pappaw."

"Bye, Sweetheart."

She was flying on cloud nine by the time she hung up the phone. When she got into her office she found Tank sitting in her visitors chair. She gave him a wide smile and he grinned in return.

"What did the suits want?" he asked.

"A per diem job offer. I'm doing it on a trial basis before I sign anything, but I have a feeling that I'll take it."

"I always knew that one day that the alphabet soup would want you. You have amazing instincts and should be proud of that."

She beamed at him before telling him, "Oh, and Panther has left orders to join us for dinner next week."

She had never seen the big guy pale before. He looked like he was going to pass out. He took several calmong breaths until his color returned.

"How do you know him? Is he the one who recruited you? If so, you can't do it Steph. I won't let you. I won't watch something happen to you."

"Relax big guy, he's my grandfather Plum. I don't think he'd put me in harms way. Why did you react like that?"

He wiped a big hand up his face and over his bald head before answering, "he was my government handler in a unit that answers to no one. We never met only spoke through text, emails, and snail mail. I was afraid that he was recruiting you for it. I don't think I could mentally handle that. I would be sickened to have you do some of the things I did in for this country.

"Ranger and I both were assigned to him. We saw a lot of shit that place our heads in bad places. We both had ways to compensate for the stressors, but I've decided to seek help to deal with it in a better way. I want to be able to have a relationship with you that's healthy. That's my goal."

She stared at him with hope shining her eyes. He stood up and reached for her. He pulled her into his chest. They stood like that for what felt like an eternity until they heard someone clear their throat behind them.

"Ok guys, get back to work," Mike softly scolded. The laughter was evident in his eyes.


	24. Chapter 24

A/No not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

Here it is the long awaited chapter that includes Ranger, Cal, and Hector. We're going to catch up on what's going through their heads. My written spanish is horrible, so all spanish will be written in English and italics.

What The Heart Wants

 **Ranger POV**

He felt the rage at being betrayed build up inside of him. He never thought that Stephanie, his Babe, would ever do something like this to him. He pressed down harded on the accelerator of his car. He had to get to DC and get Holly and his child out of custody. He didn't care what they said; she told him that she was having his child and he trusted her. If he lost another child, this time to Stephanie and his friends doing, there would be hell to pay.

He made the normally 3 hour drive in half that pushed his luck with the speeds he was traveling at, but didn't get pulled over. He found parking near the crumbling Hoover building. He walked in with such an air of authority that the front desk never questioned his intents. They answered with the whereabouts of Holly and the agents that had her in custody. They gave him directions and passed him through security after he gave over his weapons and watched them place them in a locker and handed him the key.

Making his was through the maze of halls to his destination he found three guards outside of the door where she was being held. After asking them to let him in, they incormed him that no one would be allowed until medical came and checked her out. If she really was pregnant they didn't want to cause any undo stress. They would change their interrogation technique to be as gentle as possible. He sighed in relief with the knowledge. He found the arresting agents and joined them as they waited for the doctors to arrive.

"Mr. Manoso, we would like to show you the files that we have compiled on your fiancee. There are photos included.

"You need to know that this file has years of information. There are pictures in here that are hard to stomach for even the most seasoned veteran. It will be at least an hour before the medical team arrives. We'll let you look at these, but someone will be in here with you. You may have the clearance to look at these, but we can not take the chance that you will do something to harm the case," the agent informed him.

As he looked the the files the evidence became more and more damning against Holly, or whatever the hell her real name is. He began to feel guilt flow through him. Guilt as to how he treated Stephanie and Tank. Guilt over the doubts he had concerning their in true reason. They were just doing their jobs. They were protecting him. He replayed the memories of Stephanie in his building earlier. The look of devastation and hurt on her face when he called her vile names. The look of fury on his mens faces as he ripped her down. He may have lashed out at the wrong person. He would reserve his opinion until he heard for a fact that Holly was indeed not pregnant.

Someone stuck their head in the door to inform the now somber Ranger that the medical team had arrived with their equipment and a warrant to examine Holly. Ranger would be on the outside of the door waiting for their final report and opinion.

He watched as they took vials of blood down to their labs from the room she was in; they did this first so that the results would be ready by the end of her exam. It was nearly two hour later when a doctor walked out. The man gestured for Ranger and the agents to follow him. They went to a room across the hall.

The doctor cleared his throat and began, "I am Doctor Stephenson. Let's get a few things out of the way first. The blood type was a match to other scenes, we are waiting on the final DNA report, but what we have is damning enough.

"As far as her claim to be pregnant goes, it is unfounded. She is not now, nor has she ever been pregnant. After examing the ultrasound and the physical exam she can never have children. She is missing both fallopian tubes, an ovary, and has severe scar tissue in her uterus. I can say with great certainty that what she was telling you, Mr. Manosos is completely false. I'm sorry that you had to go through this, but I truly beleive that your friends saved your life."

Ranger kept his blank face on and nodded. He asked if he could speak with Holly. The agent in charge refused, saying that until they went to trial he would not be allowed contact with her, as he was considered a victim and primary witness.

He left the building with a heavy heart. Reaching his car he turned off all of his trackers and left for destinations unknown.

 **Cal POV**

He knew that it would be bad when they comfronted Ranger over Holly. He hadn't expected him to lash out at Stephanie though. That nearly had the entire building up in arms, even the feds were ready to jump in and defend her from harm. He wasn't sure how she had endeared herself to them so quickly. Of course, he should have known better. There was a vulnerability that drew people to her. He had witnessed a lot of jealousy where she was concerned and she never noticed it.

When he got home that evening there was a voicemail waiting on him. A blast from his past so to speak. The shock settled into his bones. He knew that he should call her back, but he wasn't sure what he would say. He had been the one to leave when she asked for more than he was willing to give. He had been the one to break her heart and tell her that she needed to move out, despite how much he really loved her. He was a lot like Ranger in that regard, but if she was reaching out he wasn't going to waste a second chance. Reaching for his home phone, he dialed a very familiar cell phone number.

"Cal?" answered the soft voice.

"Maura? I just got your voicemail. "

"Cal, I need to talk to you in person."

"I've moved back into my house, can you stop by tonight?"

After a moments hesitation she replied, "Tomorrow would be better if you'll be around."

"I'll be here all day."

"I'll see you around ten in the morning if that works."

"That's fine, Maura. I'll see you then."

Hanging up the phone he was slightly concerned about what she may want to talk about after eight years.

Hector POV

He wanted to take his knives and carve up the man he once considered his friend. The man he was owed for saving his life had hurt a very precious woman. He couldn't keep the anger from boiling up. If he showed a single bit of rage towards Ranger in front of Stephanie she would be worried about him going to jail. That's just how she was. He knew how much she cared about everyone.

He stormed into his apartment in Baltimore and hopped onto his computer. He was contacting his own web of informants and associates. He was calling in every favor that was owed him. He would have them all converge upon the city. The Latin Kings, his old gang, could be here in about an hour. The lead gang was out of York City in Pennsylvania right now. The commander owed him more than most. He kept the biggest secret the man had; he wasn't who he said he was, he was worse. When he bleed out, the truth was that Hector had been able to just walk away. Jefe's wounds were self inflicted and only surface deep, it was the only way for him to keep face.

Ranger even stepped foot in this town Hector would know before even took a single breath. Stephanie was his priority. Until the threat was either removed or none existent they would protect her with their lives. They were more deadly than Ranger could ever be, because they didn't care. It would only improve their bragging rights to protect her from him. They would be saving Manosos woman from Manoso.

He sat back and smiled as they all confirmed that they would be at a meeting point tonight at midnight.

A/N We go back to Steph and Tank in the next chapter, and these little snippets will all start coming together.

Also, Grandpa Plum will only make a short appearance as he is not very influential upon this story.

If you haven't checked out Jdho2's Plum/Avengers crossover stories, please do so. I absolutely love them. She just completed How to Become a Goddess, and it's another wonderfully written storyline! Show her some love with likes and/or reviews.


	25. Chapter 25

A/not mine, i own nothing but the plot.

What The heart wants

He could see that she was having an internal struggle. He watched as guilt, anger, and sadness flooded her face. Something had brought her down durning the night. He sent a quick text to Jen, hoping to have her on standby in case they needed to intervene.

"Dreams," he grunted out under his breath. "Stephanie, it was just dreams. You're here, you're safe."

He wrapped her up in his arms and whispered that she was safe over and over. The shaking soon stopped. He look down at her and place a soft kiss on her lips. She sighed as she pulled away.

"I know it was just a nightmare, but it felt so real," she told him as she drifted off into space.

" I understand dreams so real that it's like they really are happening," he began. "When I got back from my first tour, I didn t get a full nights sleep for months."

"It's not the same Tank. You were fighting in a war along with all the horrors that come with it. I just put my nose in where it wasn't wanted."

"No Steph, you were saving a friend. You have seen war on a more intimate level than I have. While I was fighting a nameless and faceless enemy, you were fighting for your friends and family on the home front. You knew ever person that has attacked you, you knew them well. It's a little bit different, but also makes it hard because those nightmares have proven to be able to be very real. You have PTSD for a good readon, just as anyone who has seen war or anyone else that has it."

"When will they stop?"

"I'll be honest, they never stop. They do lessen with time and with experience you'll find healthy coping methods. You'll find your triggers and be able to stay away from them," he paused thoughtfully for a moment. "For example, I won't watch atction movies of any kind. They tend to be a misrepresentation of war and what happens on the street. I get drawn in and upset by it."

"I think I'm okay for now. We need to get to work."

They went their respective ways to get ready for the day. It was nearly noon before they found themselves in each others company again. She sought him out this time to join her for lunch. She found Cal in with him, looking a bit shell shocked.

"Cal? Are you alright?" she asked gently.

"Steph, maybe you can help me better than the big guy."

"I can try. Why don't we go talk over lunch?"

He nodded and began to follow her out the door. She looked back at Tank and asked "Joining us?"

"I think it may be best if he talks to you alone."

"Okay..."she replied with confusion.

They went to the corner cafe and as they waited for theor order, Cal began to tell her about how his ex girlfriend had called him. They met up on Sunday and she had brought someone with her.

"I have a son Steph, a little boy that I never even knew about. I'm at a complete loss."

"First thing you meed to do is establish paternity. "

"We're already doing that. The thing is..." he slid his phone across the table. She looked at the picture and instantly knew that this little boy was Cal's. It was just how she imagined him as a child. There was no denying that he was his son.

"Have you discussed child support and visitation?"

He nodded, "but I have no idea what to do with a kid!"

She chuckled softly, "Cal, you'll figure it out. Call your ex and find out what things he likes. What video games, movies, cartoons; that type of thing. Also, find out if he has any allergies or health conditions that you need to aware of. It may be a good time to establish a friendship with his mom."

They finished up their meals and made their way back to the offices. Cal thanked her and went to the bonds office. The day continued as she went on to finish up her work.

When she left for the day, she made her way through the snow and sludge to meet with Jen. She found her at the coffee shop and joined her.

"I hear you had a rough morning," Jen started.

"Yes, but talking with Tank helped. He understands more than I expected. To me, he always seemed so strong, so sure of himself."

"That's good. He seems to have a good head on his shoulders. Now, we are expecting a Nor'easter tonight, so most likely we won't be able to meet anymore this week. I do have some homework for you until we meet again. First I want you to continue writining in your journal, it will help you with the day to day crap. Secondly, I want you to write a letter to everyone who has hurt or disappointed you. I want you to tell them exactly how you feel. You can either keep them or mail them. They are more for you than anything. Lastly, I want you to step out of your comfort zone. Do something you always wanted to do, but never could before. It could be as simple as cook something new to as big as running away to join the circus."

Steph couldn't keep the laugh in from Jen's last suggestion. The cook something actually hit home with her. There was something she missed, but never had the guts to try and make. Pot roast with all of the sides and Pineapple upsidedown cake. She would need to hit the grocery store before the storm anyway. At least she didn't need any milk, bread, or toilet paper. She laughed to herself when she realized that they would need flashlights and batteries.

She finished up as quickly as she could at the store and made it home just as she spotted the first snowflake hit her windshield. Thankfully Tank was ready and waiting to help upload her car.

The rest of the evening was spent relaxing and swapping stories about their childhoods. They snuggled up on the couch and fell asleep.

A/N updates maybe a bit sketchy. I torn my rotator cuff...that's my life. Remember 500th review gets a one shot that will be my 100th post on FF!


	26. Chapter 26

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

What the Heart Wants

The next day the offices were all closed due to the massive storm. They were completely snowed in with eight inches already on the ground and another ten expected before the storm was over. Stephanie and Tank worked beside each other to get the pot roast in the crockpot. He patiently walked her through seasoning, chopping, and all around preparing what was needed for their meal later in the evening. As they were cleaning up everything, once they had in the slow cooker, Tank was washing as Steph was drying and he flicked suds from the sink at her playfully. She gave him a grin with a wicked look in her eye. When he turned his back to go back to washing, she wound up the towel and popped him in the ass.

He looked at her, shocked that she actually did that and grinned before splashing her once again. It soon necame an all out water fight, soaking wach other and the enitre kitchen. She was suddenly became very aware of how close they were and her lack of bra underher very wet shirt. Dawning came across Tank's face as he realized it too; he place a hand around her waist and pulled her closer. She closed her eye as he lowered his head to hers and placed a kiss on her lips. The ringing of her cell phone grabbed their attention before they could get carried away. She let it ring to voicemail as she stepped slightly back and gathered her wits together.

"I'll clean up in here. Why don't you go get changed and check your voicemail," Tank suggested.

She nodded at him and made herway to her room and en suit shower. She couldn't get the kiss from her mind. She knew that she would like to have a relationship with him, but she also knew that neither one of them were far enough in their own personal journeys. If they tried to push it any further at this point they will fail. She quickly finished up, dressed, and went out to listen to her voicemail. It was her Grandfather, he was calling to reschedule their lunch until next week because of the weather. She called him back and they spoke for a few minutes. As she hung up Tank came back in dry clothes.

"So, what would you like to do for the rest of the day?" He asked her.

"I actually have some homework from Jen, that I think I want to at least get started on and later I have a recipe for dessert that I want to try and make on my own for us. Then after dinner, providing we still have power, I just want to relax with a glass of wine and a movie. What about you?"

"I think that while your doing what you need to do, I'll read a book that I've had forever and never got the chance to read."

She grinned at him and sat down with her laptop. She knew that she would never mail any of the letters, she didn't want stir up any trouble. She had a hard time deciding who to write to first. She sat and stared at her screen as she thought of all the people she had something to tell her thoughts too. She made the choice ro start with her sister.

 _Dear Valerie,_

 _I know that this made be hard for you to understand, but it is my hope that one day you will. Growing up, despite only having a few years between us, we were never close. This is a fact that will sadden me for the rest of my life. I looked up to you for a long time. You were the example of how to get our parents to love me as well. Unfortunately, even when I tried to be like you, it only drove a wedge further between us._

 _When I finally realized that I would never be like you or Mom, I stopped and became who I wanted to be; there was no use beating a dead horse, so to speak. Even after everything that happened between us as young adults, I still tried so hard. I stepped in to help you and every chance. It wasn't enough to repair the damage that had already been done._

 _The last day that we spoke and argued, you called me a good for nothing whore. You told me that I would never see my beautiful nieces again. I was broken by that point. All I could do was walk away. You cut all ties with me, but I refused to close that door completely. I will always be there for you and the girls. I will stay out of your life, as you asked, until the time you invite me back in. We will have to talk about boundaries before I could let myself be that vulnerable again. I know that it is futile to hope for any kind of reconciliation between us, but I will continue to do so._

 _I know that, just like our parents, you believe that I am at fault for Grandma Mazur's death. I also know, that in your heart you know that isn't true. I hope one day, the girls will at least seek me out. I have college funds set up for all four of them. It's not much, but by the time they are ready to go it should be enough to get them started._

 _Someday, I hope, that we can finally be sisters._

 _Love,_

 _Stephanie_

She reread what she wrote, it wasn't much, but it was a start. She planned on leaving Mary Lou and her parents for last. They would be the hardest to write. There was so much more hurt from those three, that she knew it could be awhile until she got her anger under enough control to write them. The next person, despite all that was done to her would be another easy one. The pent up raw emotion that she felt began to spill out onto her laptop.

 _Morelli~_

 _You have been the bane of my existence since childhood. I truly don't know why I was your target. I have so much anger built up towards you, so much pain, and hatred. You did things to me, that you have arrested others for, but you don't see it. The only thing you see is the made up fantasy world you live in, not reality._

 _As adults, you may not have physically abused me, but mentally and emotionally, you tore me down. You made me feel like I was less of a human being._

 _I will admit to my own faults, including poor choices when it came to my own safety. I will not, however, take the blame for everything you caused. You need to grow up and see that the world does not revolve around you. You need to admit to you faults and the things you have done. My greatest hope for you is that you get the help you need before you really do turn into your father._

 _I am currently getting help for my own mental health problems and I need to let go of my past to move on with my future. So, this is me letting go of everything you've done or said to me. This is me being the adult that I want to be. This is me saying goodbye._

 _Always,_

 _Stephanie_

She didn't realize how much that would take out of her. She was emotionally drained at this point. It was time to put the homework away and start working on the pineapple upsidedown cake she wanted to make. She saved the two letters in her documents and pulled up the recipe she had bookmarked just for this moment.

She tokk her laptop to the kitcjen and began to gather all the ingredients and all the baking items she needed. Once she had the oven preheating she began to work. She was so intent on what she was doing that she never heard the knock at the front door. Once she got the cake into the oven she turned around and was surprised to find Hector and Tank watching her intensely. She let out a startled squeak and nearly knocked over her mixing bowl.

"Damn it! Make some noise, would ya!" she yelled and the grinning men.

"Angelita, I wanted to see what Tank was making. I could smell it from my place," Hector said.

"I'm cooking today, and I'm making pot roast. Tank helped walk me through it. Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Are you trying to give us all food poisoning?" he asked with a smirk.

"Just for that, you don't get dessert and you can do the dinner dishes," she snarked.

"Si, but I still want dessert too."

"Fine, dinner will be ready at six. We have about five more hours till then, and only thirty five minutes until I take the cake out to cool. What would you like to do?"

They spoke about it and decided that it would be a movie marathon day. The guys helped her clean up the kitchen, this time without the water they had that done, and popcorn ready it was time for her to remove the cake from the oven. Tank went to set up the movies, all comedies, and Hector hung back with her as she worked. She was surprised when she put the toothpick in and it came out clean. The cake was a beautiful golden color and she only hoped it tasted half as good as it smelled and looked.

They laughed their way through a few movies until it was time for dinner. She was surprised when Hector said grace before they ate, but she quickly crossed herself when she noticed he did and bowed her head. She listened to the words she had heard since childhood. It was one of the first prayers she had ever learned. It brought back memories from the holidays with her grandparents. She was happy when both of the guys complimented her on the meal, and even tried a small piece of cake. She laughed when Tank had a second larger piece.

When Hector hugged her goodnight she began to get nervous about being alone with the end she knew she had nothing to worry about. She poured both of them a glass of wine and they sat snuggled up together on the couch watching Moulin Rouge. They fell asleep not long after a text from Mike telling them that because of the state of emergency the office would still be closed the next day.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

What the Heart Wants

The next day she was left to her own devices whole Tank went over to Hectors to help him set up something in his apartment. She sat on the couch with her laptop once again trying to decide who to write to next.

 _Ranger,_

 _I was going to save your letter for last, but I want to geg it out of my system more than the rest. I know that you're feeling hurt and betrayed by me. I only hope that one day you'll realize that I was only helping you. I loved you for so long that it would have killed me if she had done what she did to so many other before you._

 _You were the first person in my life to ever force me to see that I could do things that I wanted. You supported me and stood by me. I should have walked away when you sent me back to Morelli, but my heart wouldn't let me. I did what I had to do to protect your daughter when she was kidnapped. I stupidly believed in fairy tales when you told me someday._

 _I felt betrayed when you blew me off when I told you about Joe and I being over and finding out you met someone. When I lost pur child, it felt like the world was going to end and I was all alone. I had no one that I could talk to or trust anymore. I had lost everything._

 _The night you became engaged all I could think about was you telling me that you would never do anything stupid like marriage or babies. Yet, there you were, on my birthday no less, propsing to another woman. I wanted to end it all that night. I even went home and found the revolver you puchased for me and loaded it; the irony of taking my own life with the gun the man I loved gave me wasn't lost on me by any means. I figured you were the one who finally broke me, why not use the tool you gave me to end it all. I couldn't do it though. Despite that fact that I felt as though I had nothing and no one left to live for, I decided that living would be part of my penance for all the wrongs that I had done in my life._

 _I had to ensure that everyone whose life I had screwed up got what they wanted one way or another. That even means ensuring your happiness. If Holly made you happy, then I would do whatever I could to make sure that happened. I had also planned that you would never know about the child we lost. I couldn't let you be hurt that way. I guess it doesn't matter now, because you do know and Holly is sitting in jail waiting for all of her charges to come through._

 _I will admit that I was a fool to believe that one day we would have our happy ending, but it just wasn't written in the stars. You use to tell me that you had a lot of red in your ledger to clean up before you could be with anyone. You were wrong._

 _You never had any red in your ledger, but I certainly did and still do. I plan on clearing mine up and finding my happily ever after. I think I may have, but I just need to work out my personal demons first and so does he. This time, I am not pining my hopes and dreams on it though. If it happens, great. If not, than it wasn't supposed to happen._

 _I don't think you'll ever understand how much some of your comments hurt me, but for some dumb reason I kept letting you say shit to me. I should have walked away when you told me that I was a line item in your entertainment budget. I should have walked away long before then._

 _Here's the thing though, I forgive you and pray that one day you can forgive me too. I hope that one day you'll even forgive yourself and get the help that you need as well. My you find the peace that you are looking for and the happiness you deserve._

 _Stephanie_

This was one letter that she planned to email to the intended person. If he responds, she will just delete it. This is her goodbye, her closure. She would never reach out to him again. It felt like a weight was lifted off her chest when she it send on the email.

It was afternoon by the time she finished up the letter to Ranger. She made herself some lunch before she tackled her letter to Mary Lou. It was going to be another hard one to write. How do you say goodbye to someone you once believed to be your best friend for the majority of your life? How do you tell them that their actions and backstabbing hurt you to the core? She wasn't sure, but even if it was a rambling leter she would write it. The homework that Jen had given her was already making her stronger.

Tank still wasn't back yet when she sat back down to write to Mary Lou. She took a deep breath and started.

 _Mary Lou,_

 _How I wish things were different, but I guess we aren't little girls any more. There was a time that you were my best friend and closest confidant. That turned to not be quite true. While I believed it still as an adult, it turned out that you were the one feeding lies to my mother and anyone else you could sell them too. You even went as far as telling Joyce Barnhart things about me._

 _I never knew how much you hated me until the night you called me when Ranger got engaged. The venom in your voice as you took pure pleasure in my pain was evident. I should have know when you told me that you agreed with my so called parents that it was my fault that Grandma Mazur had died. The only reason I can come up with for not believing it, is that you had been my friend since we were in diapers._

 _I tried so many times to reach out to you and find out why you suddenly hated me. One of the last time I had been in the bonds office when I tried to call you. Connie and Lula both laughed in my face and called me a fucking hypocritical whore. I was confused when Joyce walked into the main office and told me that she heard I was sleeping with Lenny. I gave up at that point. I never slept with Lenny, and he has never had an affair as far as I know. You know how I feel about that. I would have been the one to inform you of I had found out that he was cheating on you._

 _You made up your mind that it was true and became judge, jury, and executioner all rolled into one withour a shred of evidence or even asking either one of us if it was true. I'm betting it was either Joyce or Helen Plum that gave you the false information. Honestly, it doesn't even matter any more._

 _I hope that you have a good life and a happy future. Despite all that was done to me, I do not wish ill on anyone. You were my best friend for a long time and something changed that._

 _Stephanie_

She decided that four letters in two days was more than enough headway in her homework. She picked up her phone and called Jen. They spoke for nearly an hour and she was emotionally drained by that point. Tank had come home half way through her conversation with Jen and made himself scarce. She went and knocked on his bedroom door when she was done.

He took one look at her and saw all the pain in her eyes. He wrapped her into his arms and she clung to him for dear life; sobbing as though it was the end of the world. It didn't take long to calm her down and she told him about emailing the letter to Ranger and her plans if he replies.

"You did the right thing Little Girl," he told her. "Why don't we warm up leftovers for dinner tonight and we can talk. There are a few things I want to tell you about that Hector and I discussed today."

"Sure," she replied with a small shrug.

They went about warming up their evening meal and took it into the living room. They sat and ate in comfortable silence for a bit as Tank gathered his thoughts. It onlu took a few minutes for him to begin talking.

"When I first met Ranger he was know as Ric. He was a scrawny pain in my ass. He ran through boot camp like the devil was on his heels and nothing was going to stop the chase. I can honestly say that I didn't like him at first. He talked too much, but said little of value. That changed when he met Rachel and found out she was pregnant.

"When she asked him to give up his rights yo Julie he and I went and got drunk. He told me that he would never again be that stupid. It broke his heart to give up his little girl, but he did it anyway. The day he met you every single one of us see something changed in him.

"You gave him hope. You gave him another reason to live again. I don't understand, and I won't pretend to understand, why he pushed you away. I know about him sending you back to Morelli. Hector told me about it this evening. I just want you to understand that if he is what you still want I won't stand in your way. I don't want you to think that I'm sending you to him, I just want you to know that I'll be happy if you are happy, even if I would like it to be with me at some point."

"Tank, I wouldn't go back to him even if you ordered me to. After every thing that was said and done between him and I, there's nothing left. I'm the one who's been broken this time.

"The biggest difference is that I'm trying to heal myself so that I can have a relationship and I hope that it will eventually be with you. You were right about waiting until we are both in a better place mentally. We both deserve happiness and if we push it now, we'll only end up hurting each other," she told him.

"How about we try this; let's start just having date nights. You know, movies, dinners, and maybe plays once a week. We'll go slowly and just get to knlw each other better. This way when we're in a good heads space we can decide to either move forward or just remain friends."

"You know what Tank, I think I'd like that."

He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips before asking, "will you go out to dinner and a movie with me on Saturday?"

"I would love to," she said. "Would you mind sharing my bed tonight like we have before?I could really use a friend to just hold me."

"Anything for you, Steph."

A/N you will be getting two chapters this week. I'm trying to get ahead a bit so that I can post a little easier acter Thursday.

Also, remember 500th review gets a one shot of their choice (only stipulation is no cupcake). You have to be signed in for me to be able to speak with you via PM for what you would like. We are so close! We are at 487 right now! Which is awesome! I can't thank you guys enough. I never expected to get that many reviews on a Tart story.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

Sorry for the delay. I had surgery on my shoulder two weeks ago and am just starting to feel a bit better. I am working on a few things, this story, two more, and my original piece. It's slow going as I cannot use my right hand because of one of the things they repaired in my shoulder is the tendon that connects the bicep to the shoulder and it has to stay immobile until it fuses to the large bone in my upper arm instead of my shoulder.

What The Heart Wants

The days flew by and before she knew it, it was Saturday. She was starting to become nervous, other than with Dickie, she can't remember the last time she had a real date. When she was with Joe, it felt like she embarrassed him; with Ranger it was always a paid job. Looking back she could only shake her head. She didn't know how she missed it before. They both used her for their own end game. They both had an agenda and she was only a means to reach it. She couldn't keep from thinking that Dickie had had one too. He needed a woman to make him look like a family man to further his ambitions. He at least had the decency to make her feel like someone cared for a little while.

What had her nerves wound up was the thought that Tank had an agenda as well. After all, it's what her past had taught her. She knew that she shouldn't dwell on it, but everytime she tried to get ready, it came back to the forefront of her mind. After an hour she finally made a decision.

 _'Suck it up buttercup,'_ she thought. _'Tank is different. He's not from my past, but he could very well be my future.'_ She grabbed a pair of slacks and a blouse from her closet. She spritzed on a tiny bit of perfume and considered herself ready. She took a deep breath and opened her bedroom door. Tank was leaning against the wall across from her door. The grin he gave her melted her heart just a little bit. She wanted to protect it, but he was worming his way in one smile at a time.

He held his arm out for her to take. She wrapped her arm around his and smile as they made their way to his car downstairs. He helped her into the passenger seat before going around and getting into the driver side. She was surprised when he didn't plug an address into his GPS and it took everyting in her not to ask where they were going for dinner. Her nerves were rising to the top again and he must have noticed, because he took her hand into his and ran his thumb across the back in a soothing motion.

The drive felt as though it took forever, but in reality it couldn't have been more than 45 minutes. Tank handed his keys to the valet and helped her out of the car. She took note of the name, Cafe Bretton. She had never heard of it, but was curious about what they served. She was surprised when he spoke to someone in what she thought to be French. She knew that he knew Spanish, but wondered how many other languages he spoke.

They were quickly shown to their table where they both requested ice water to drink and handed their menus to look over.

"Steph," Tank asked.

"Yes, Tank," she replied looking up at him.

"Please call me by my first name, Pierre when we aren't working," he paused before asking his question. "Would you let me order for you? This is one of my favorite restaurants and I think I know something you may enjoy."

She smiled at him and nodded, relieved that she wouldn't need to decipher the menu on her own. "Thank you. I think I would like that, Pierre."

The smile he gave her was probably the biggest one she had ever seen from the mountain of a man before her. She knew he was a handsome man, but his beauty with that smile was truly breath taking. He placed their orders and a glass of wine each to be delivered with their meals.

As they waited she decided to ask a few questions, after all dates were a way to learn about each other.

"Why did you pick this restaurant, " she inquired softly.

"I was stationed in Germany for two years and I had the chance to go to France while on leave. I fell in love with the country, and still visit when I have the chance. I wanted to share a little bit of that with you. This restaurant is the closest I've come to some of the food I've enjoyed there over the years."

"Is that why you learned French?"

He let out a small chuckle before answering, "Actually it's not. I grew up learning Spanish and once I joined the military they discovered that I have an aptitude for languages. I started taking classes and learning the romance languages first. I know fourteen different ones which was heavily utilized during my time in the service."

"Wow! I know enough Italian to hold a half way decent conversation, I couldn't imagine learning more. I only know enough Latin to get through mass," she said with a slight giggle. "Mom made sure we could go to Latin services around the holy days of obligation, and my Plum grandparents spoke Italian to us growing up. They didn't want us to lose that part of our family history. It's something I would love to learn more of and maybe go to Italy one day."

"Italy is beautiful too, maybe one day we can take a trip to France and Italy."

"You would go with me? Really?"

"Of course, I would love to see both place through your eyes. I can already imagine the look in your face when you see them for the first time. The look of pure wonder," he stopped there as their food was placed in front of them.

He watched her as she took her first bite and was giddy when she closed her eyes and softly let out a moan that she was straining to hold back. Their conversation soon began again. When they were done, it was late and they realized that they had missed the movie that they planned to go see. They laughed over that as they got situated into the car before heading home.

Once they were safely tucked away back in the apartment they settled in on the sofa with the big fluffy throw blanket around them. He pulled her into his side and felt more content than he had in a long time. They fell asleep together just enjoying each others company.

The next morning Tank woke up and looked down at the beautifully mussed woman laying on his chest. He became aware of another presence in the room; looking towards the recliner he spotted Hector glaring at him. Hector nodded toward the kitchen. Tank carefully disentangled himself from Stephanie and followed the terrifying former gangbanger.

"Hurt her and die," was how the smaller man started. "That's not why I'm here. There is some information that you need to protect her."

"What," Tank growled out.

"Ranger seems to be heading this way. He should be in Baltimore this afternoon."

"Fuck!"

"Should we stop him?"

Before Tank could reply, Stephanie walked in and interrupted them by saying, "Let him come. I think it's time to confront him in person, so that I can move forward with my life...with our life, Pierre."

He felt as though he had swallowed his heart as he said those words. He wanted to move forward with their life too.

"I would like you both to be here, Cal too, when I talk with him. I don't think he would physically hurt me, but after the last time I saw him..." she trailed off.

A/N We hit over 500 reviews! Squeee! I'm am so excited! Had a few issues with who the actual prize went to, so I'm doing a combination. One was that it was a Babe story, and the other prompt has a full story (not just a one shot) forming in my head. It's definitely a twist on a theme I've seen crop up here, and boy oh boy as Ranger would say, "We're gonna do this Babe, and it's gonna be good."


	29. Chapter 29

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the but the plot.

What the Heart Wants

She wasn't ready by any means, but she knew that it was coming. He was on his way and it would be done on his timeline. He would force it to happen no matter what. She tamped down the panic that was welling up in her chest with some deep breathing. She felt a large pair of arms wrap around her from behind and a familiar head lay down on top of hers.

"I called his phone and left a text as well. If he looks at them he'll be here at seven to talk. I did warn him that we would be here with you at all times."

"Thank you, Tank."

She felt him nod into her curls and kissed her curls. They stood like that for awhile before he gently tugged her to her bed and laid down with her just letting her soak in his strength, his calm, and what felt suspiciously like love. They fell asleep entwined together and Cal found them like that at five thirty. They would need the time to get get ready. Dinner had already been ordered from a local restaurant and Hector would be picking it up at six.

At seven on the dot there was a knock on the door. It was show time. At her acknowledgement Cal opened the door to reveal a very tired and distraught looking Ranger Manoso. The guys were on guard immediately, hands were on guns and Ranger noticed. He held his hands up to show he meant to harm. Cal slowly moved aeay from the door and signaled him inside. The tension racketed up with each deliberate step he took into the space she called home.

Breaking the thick atmosphere that had built Stephanie said, "Let's eat first then we'll talk.

She turned towards the kitchen to finish setting the table with Tank hot on her heels. They took the silverware and food out to the table and found everyone standing around the table just glaring at each other. Steph and Tank took their seats and everyone joined them. It wasn't the most comfortable meal they had sat through, but for Steph it wasn't even the worst. That had been her birthday when Ranger proposed to Holly.

Once everything was cleared Hector and Cal cleaned up while Steph, Tank, and Ranger went in the living room to begin their chat. Ranger only raised an eyebrow when Steph sat with Tank and entwined her fingers with his. After a heavy sigh, something that was almost unheard of from Ranger, he looked directly at her. He seemed to be trying to guage the situation before he spoke.

Of course he started with the one word crap asking, "why?"

"Why what Ranger? Why are we here on earth? Why does God seem to think that I'm his favorite toy to break? Why am I holding onto Tank? Why am I terrified of you? Take your pick on which why, Ranger. I can't read minds," Steph snarked at him.

He seemed taked back by her words; by the bitterness and anger behind them. It hit him like a ton of bricks with the amount of pain he caused her.

"Why did to turn Holly in? Was it to get back at me?"

"You are the biggest asshat on this planet! I was asked to consult on the case to begin with then I wanted to keep you safe. Despite the crap you put my through, I didn't want you hurt or killed. I'm not you Ranger. I don't go out of my way to threaten my friends, even the ones that I used to love."

"So you did it because you love me. Is this some ploy to get me back in your bed?"

"I don't want you in the same state as me, let alone in my life. If you don't want to believe that I did it just to sace your life, there's the door and don't let it hit you on the ass on your way out.

"Now, are you going to use that fucking brain of yours or do I have to spell everything out to you? Is this another way to try and tear me down another notch? I gotta tell you that you no longer have the power to hurt me like you seem to always do. It's almost like a game to you," she said whit a large amount of venom in her voice.

"Obviously I'm doing this wrong. I want, no I need to apologize to you. I shouldn't have pushed you out of my life. I should have been there when you lost..."

"No! You do not get to talk about my child! You lost that right the last time I saw you. You lost that right when you made me fear for my life," she shouted at him. "Say what you need to say and then we'll go on with our lives separately."

He ran a hand down his face with his eye closed. When he opened them, they could see the remorse and regret play across his face. "I understand why you feel that way. I was riding high on my emotions when you last saw me. The woman I thought I could move on from you with was planning on betraying me and you were the one to save me. I couldn't help but think you were doing it to get back at me. I was wrong."

They could have heard a pin drop in the room when he dropped that bombshell. Ranger never admitted when he was wrong. He never apologized for what he believed to be true. Steph's eye went wide and she gripped Tanks hand a little harder at those two words. They were words no one ever thought they would hear out of his mouth.

"I forgive you, but I'll never forget. You broke me. You hurt me worse than anyone in my has ever done before and it was made worse when it was during a time I need you most. Maybe one day we can be friends again, but I doubt it will be any time soon. I am rebuilding my life and I suggest you do the same. Get some damn help for your mental issues, because you need as much as I have and I'm getting it. You need to grow up and lose the damn ego. One day you'll meet someone who won't be a door mat and let you walk over them until they need replaced.

"I'm not letting you use me as a door mat any longer, Ranger. I'm getting stronger everyday. I don't wake up everyday praying that it is my last anymore. I no longer have a death wish, just a life wish and I hope you find that too, someday."

"Thank you," he told her softly.

Tank stood and went over to Ranger. He pulled him into a hug. They whispered something to each other that was too low for Stephanie to hear. Cal amd Hector were standing in the doorway watching the scene unfold and knew that the man they all once called brother would be leaving soon to get his personal demons under control.

It would be a long road, but he would get there. They all shook his hand before he left Steph's apartment. Steph turned in Tanks arms and silently cried for the man who was her world. When she looked up into Tank's eyes she smiled a watery smile that was full of life for the first time in nearly two years.

A/N Thank you for all the well wishes, it's been crazy! I have about four more chapters left on this plus an epilogue. It's hard to believe that this crazy ride is nearly over!

I did post my 100th story on FF called Bang Bang, it's a fun little one shot with potential to build on in the future.

Also, one of my favorite witers on here Jdho2 has a new Avengers/Stephanie Plum cross over called Out if th frying pan. Go check it out if you get the chance and leave her some love.


	30. Chapter 30

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

What the Heart Wants

She took Tank's hand and pulled him to her bedroom. She just wanted to fall into her thinking postion for a little while, but she wantted a sounding board as well. Bonus points were added because it meant that Tank might just hold her as she talked out what was now running through her head. He had been Ranger's right hand man for many years and he would have the insight she needed.

They kicked off their shoes and snuggled down into the bed. She wasn't really sure where to even begin talking about what felt to be a rather strange meeting. He must habe noticed her hesitation because he gathered he a little tighter into his chest.

"Tank?" she asked to get his attention.

"Yeah Steph?"

"Was it just me or did that seem really anticlimactic?"

"It wasn't just you. That's not his norm when he feels that he's been wronged. I'm not sure if it was the fact that it was you he was reacting to or he has something up his sleeve. I'll call Lester and Ernesto to have them keep eyes on him at all times."

"He just seemed...I don't knowm Broken?"

"I think you might have hit the nail on the head. I still want to have eyes on him. It's not just for your safety, but his as well. I don't know how far down the rabbit hole he is right now."

She nodded into his chest and slipped off into sleep. She never even noticed when Tank scooted out from under her and left the bedroom. He knew that the guys would still be there and they would want a game plan from him going forward. He could hear them speaking softly, but what surprised him was that they were discussing him and Stephanie, not Ranger's behavior. When he stepped fully into the room all conversation ceased.

He crossed his arm over his slightly puffed out chest and arched an eyebrow in the groups direction. Unfortunately, these were men that he had worked with for years, add the facts that he was in stocking feet and Stephanie was the light in their otherwise dark lives; the effect was completely wasted on them. Hector and Cal burst out laughing at his attempt of intimidation.

"Tank, my man, if you lost the pink sock currently hanging on your cargos, that look might work better," Cal told him in between fits of laughter.

He look down and only said, "I'll be damned. I do have a pink sock."

The tension that had previously filled the men in the room was gone. Hector walked into the kitchen and returned with a beer for each of them. They each found a seat a had a quiet moment, sipping their drinks.

"I called Lester and Ernesto," Cal began gruffly. "I think we need to be worried for Ranger now, not about what he could do to Steph. I think he may just go over the ledge this time."

"I agree. Steph and I were just discussing that before she fell asleep," Tank replied.

Hector tipped his beer in his general direction then asked, "Is this some mess up plan to get them back together? Is that why you're dating her?"

He felt his anger rise to the surface, but was able to contain it before answering. "I don't know where the hell you got that idea, but get rid of it now. I have been in love with that woman for a long time. I stayed away because of Ric. I saw what he did to her. I know how messed up his head is, and how he messed with hers. I needed to be stronger for her. I needed to get my demons under control.

"She and I are working on our respective issues and finding each other at the same time. I only want to make her happy and love her like I should have from the start. We've both seen a lot of shit in our lives. I think we've earned some happiness."

He looked at Hector who seemed satisfied with that answer. When he looked at Cal, he knew he was about to experience a question of Santos level stupidity. He could tell my the look in the other mans eye.

"What, Cal?"

"Aren't you afraid you'll crush her in bed? I mean next to you she looks like she should be singing follow the yellow brick road." Cal said with a straight face.

"I could have sworn that Stanos wasn't here."

The three men lost it again and had a good laugh. They sat and talked for nearly two hours when Steph made an appearance in the living room. She made a beeline right for Tank and sat in his lap. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and leaned down to kiss her lips. Cal and Hector bid them good night and she sent them off with a little finger wave.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, we didn't mean to wake you," Tank told her as he stood and began to carry her back to her room.

"You guys were okay. I just needed to be with you."

He layed her down on her bed and kissed her gently back into her pillow. It didn't take long for them to fall into a short sleep before the alarm was going off for work the next morning. All Steph could think was that coffee and make-up were he saving graces.

Settling into their offices that morning, Steph groaned when she noticed how full her in box was on her email account. She noticed one from the feds and decided that it would get top priority. When she opened it she found that it was a request for her call one of the agents that had been on the case she helped with. She made the call quickly and found that it had been a simple matter to handle over the phone. She would need to meet up with them at their office to be debriefed and explain her part in the investigation for their files. She set up a time for her and the guys to be there at the end of the week.

Steph just finished up with her in box when she felt someone standing in her doorway. She looked up and felt like she had been thrown into the past. There stood her Grandfather. She nearly fell in her haste to get to him and wrap her arms around him. She must not have been quiet, because Tank and Mike came out of their offices with guns out looking for a threat.

Tank was the first one to speak, "Ah hell, I'm sorry sir!"

"Why the hell would you draw a gun on me and my granddaughter, soldier?!"

"It's been a long few days and I am still on edge."

"If it's alright with your boss, I would like to take you two to lunch. Cal is waiting for us as well."

Mike waved a hand at them and told them to be back in an hour. They met up with Cal and made their way to the deli. The look her Grandfather was giving Tank promised that it would include some very uncomfortable questions.


End file.
